- Fred G. Sanford: [to Cal, who walks in while Fred is watching a soap opera on TV] Quiet. John is leaving Sally for Eric the ski instructor.
- Cal Pettie: What?
- Fred G. Sanford: See, John is a trisexual.
- Cal Pettie: Trisexual?
- Fred G. Sanford: Yeah. He tried it and he liked it.
- Fred G. Sanford: You act like you got a crush on Maria.
- Cal Pettie: Oh, that's ridiculous. Why would you say a thing like that?
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, you looked at her like she was a large Twinkie.