- Fred G. Sanford: [Looking at Cal's family portrait] Who are them two bald-headed fellas?
- Cal Pettie: That there is my brother Homer Elbee, and the other one is my sister Betty Sue. I guess some day I'll be bald, too.
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, I'll just paint you green and sit you in the window and sell you for a Buddha.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Hearing the still gurgle and squeak] What's that noise? It sounds like someone sucking a cat up the vacuum cleaner!
- Al Culmer: Well, now look, Fred. Now you're a businessman; why do you think there's so much instability in the market?
- Fred G. Sanford: Wobbly wheels on the shopping carts.