Jeffrey Jacquet: Eddie

Quotes 

• Cal Pettie : [Cal apprehends the burglar climbing through a window]  Alright, kid, why'd you pick our house?

  Eddie : Man, I thought I was playin' it safe. A lot of houses in this neighborhood have guard dogs. How was I supposed to know you all had a guard hippo?

• Fred G. Sanford : [On the phone]  Operator? Give me the police.

  Eddie : Oh, man, you ain't gonna turn me over to the cops, are ya?

  Fred G. Sanford : Naw, I'm callin' for your protection.

  Eddie : My protection?

  Fred G. Sanford : That's right. I'm doin' it because if the police don't get here on the double, your butt is in a lot of trouble.

• Cal Pettie : Look at yourself. You're fourteen and in big trouble.

  Eddie : And you're just big.

  Cal Pettie : Right, partner. Big enough to bounce you off the wall, dribble you around the room, and slam dunk you in the disposal.

• Eddie : Fat people are supposed to be jolly.

  Cal Pettie : You're the only kid I know that Santa Claus would punch in the face.