- Fred G. Sanford: [Looking at the seemingly young doctor's driver's license for a date of birth] 1913? Why, that's the year I was born. What happened to me, Doc?
- Marshall T. Gray: Nothing, Mr. Sanford, nothing. I'd say for a man of our years you're in excellent health.
- Fred G. Sanford: Yeah, but you look you jumped off a box of Wheaties, and I look like I slid out a jar of prunes.
- Rollo Larson: Say, Pop, look. You took that pill 24 hours ago and you're supposed to lose age, but all you losing is your mind.
- Cal Pettie: Face it, Fred. On the highway of life you're a '52 DeSoto.
- Fred G. Sanford: And let's face it, Cal. On the highway of life you're all six lanes.