- Richard Laymer: [Nico Tenelli is dangling the Richmeister out a window] Got me by my ankles! Nico! The anklemeister!
- Nat X: Well, little girl, when I have time off, I like to go bowling. You see, there's nothing I like better than taking that big black ball and throwing it into those ten white pins with the red necks!
- Charlton Heston: [reading a letter aloud] If you ask me, this whole operation is one big wank-a-thon.