- Puff Daddy: I don't even own a gun, you know what I'm saying? I don't even know how to fire a gun, I never even seen the movie "Top Gun", you know what I'm saying? I don't even like to say the word bubblegum because its so close to gun.
- Tracy Morgan: [to Jamie Foxx] Man, we only get one black host a year, man. It was either gonna be you or Alan Keyes, and I was like 'Yo, man, you gotta get Jamie, man, he's hilarious!'.
- Vladimir Putin: My only competition is, eh, Gorbachev's kid, Mikhail W. Gorbachev. Eh, and believe me, the Russian people aren't stupid enough to vote for a guy just because he has his dad's name.