Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Steve Martin/Randy Newman/Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (1978)

Bill Murray: Walter Mondale, Spokesperson, showerer, Richard Dawson, Col. Ray Egghardt

Quotes 

• Richard Dawson: : Alright, Beldar, let's make some Fast Money! Come on down here!

  [Beldar joins Dawson at the center of the Family Feud stage] 

  Richard Dawson: : Alright, Beldar, I'm gonna ask you five questions at $100 a piece. I want you to tell me the first thing that comes into your head... which will probably be a low-flying plane.

  Beldar Conehead : Proceed, human, proceed!

  Richard Dawson: : Is that like Go, man, go?

  [the countdown clock starts ticking] 

  Richard Dawson: : Alright, name a famous explorer.

  Richard Dawson: : Vypron the Insistent.

  [a strike on the board] 

  Richard Dawson: : The biggest holiday of the year.

  Beldar Conehead : The Moons of Mypzor!

  [another strike] 

  Richard Dawson: : A place you keep your valuables.

  Beldar Conehead : In a muldra iron field.

  Richard Dawson: : A mode of transportation.

  Beldar Conehead : A phone shoe.

  [yet another strike] 

  Richard Dawson: : Something you eat with eggs.

  Beldar Conehead : Fiberglass.

  [final strike] 

  Richard Dawson: : Alright, fella, you were on quite a roll there. No points, no money. Don't feel bad about it, though, you'll be back tomorrow and have another chance at Fast Money. Until then, everybody, remember old people are our greatest national resources. So check in one today and push them around the block. So long, everybody!

• Richard Dawson: : And this is your lovely daughter. I see where you get your good looks You're French, so I'm gonna give you a French kiss, how's that?

  [Connie opens her mouth as wide as possible before they kiss] 

  Connie Conehead : Ooh baby, oh baby!

  Richard Dawson: : Well, uh... they start early in France, what the heck!