- Alex Trebek: Dr. Cosby, would you like to pick a category?
- Bill Cosby: That's Doctor William H. Cosby, Junior, E.D.D. WHoa!
- Alex Trebek: Okay. Would you like to pick a category?
- Bill Cosby: No I would not!
- Alex Trebek: Okay, Mr. Connery.
- Sean Connery: I'll take Jap Anus Relations for 200...
- [laughter]
- Alex Trebek: [board flashes "JAPAN US RELATIONS", Trebek looks at the board in consternation] I'm sorry, that's Japan U.S. Relations, that's just awful and you know it.
- Alex Trebek: [the category is "The Letter that comes after "B"] The word cat would be found under this letter in the dictionary.
- [Sean Connery buzzes in]
- Alex Trebek: . Sean Connery?
- Sean Connery: I believe you'd find that in the R section.
- Alex Trebek: No, not in the "R's".
- Sean Connery: Not in the "R's"? That's not what your mother said.
- Sean Connery: Well, well, well, Trebek, fancy seeing you again. It's been a while.
- Alex Trebek: Not long enough.
- Sean Connery: That's not what your mother said last night.
- Alex Trebek: Mr. Connery, let's see what you wrote.
- [the board displays 0+0-0=0]
- Alex Trebek: Zero plus zero minus zero equals zero. I think we have a winner, those are numbers, a first grader would know that! I can't believe it! Well, that's all the time we have...
- Sean Connery: Oh, uh, don't ya want to see what I wagered, Trebek?
- Alex Trebek: Do I? You promise me it's still a number?
- Sean Connery: Absolutely. Friend.
- Alex Trebek: Sure.
- Sean Connery: [0+0-0=0 becomes "POOP,p+0-0=p on board] It is a number! Number 2, Get it?
- [Sean Connery starts laughing, eventually dopeslaps Trebek]
- Alex Trebek: Okay, that's it, I quit, once and for all, really. Good night.
- [introducing the Double Jeopardy categories]
- Alex Trebek: "Japan US Relations." I have no idea what that category is doing up there.
- Sean Connery: I had relations this morning, Trebek. Hope we didn't wake you; your mother's a screamer.
- Bill Cosby: Why do the people today need to curse with their mouth? She should be setting an example for the young people!