Quotes
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Dr. Cox : Oh, whoa, now. What happened to - what happened to feisty Barbie, huh? You know, it took me a helluva lot to shake off that tongue-lashing you gave me yesterday.
Elliot : Yeah, well, yesterday I had a mentor, but she turned out to be insane. I mean, how am I supposed to take professional advice from somebody who can't even hold together their personal life?
Dr. Cox : Look, I know you and I have never really connected - maybe that's because you're relentlessly annoying, or maybe it's my fault because I can't tolerate relentlessly annoying people - I don't know. But answer me one question: Do you think I'm a good teacher?
Elliot : To some people.
Dr. Cox : Fair enough. Why don't we go ahead and take a look at my personal life? I am in love with a woman that I hate, my two-year-old son calls me "Pewwy," and - this is something that I've never actually shared with anybody before, but - on Saturday nights, I like to throw on a nice dress, go out to dive bars, and insist that everybody call me Mrs. Haberdasher!
Elliot : [laughs, then thinks] No, you don't.
Dr. Cox : Well, even if I did, it wouldn't really matter since that has nothing to do with how good of a teacher I am. Stick with me here, Barbie. The point is that if you finally found somebody who makes you believe in yourself as much as you did yesterday, well, I would think twice before I wrote that person off.
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Dr. Cox : How, uh, how old is this patient?
Elliot : Seventy-nine.
Dr. Cox : And... how old would you say he was when you started this procedure?
Elliot : [thinking] The more I thought about how awesome Molly is, the more I got sick of Dr. Cox's crap.
Dr. Cox : Oh my God, I could fly to China, adopt a child, raise her, send her to medical school, and then train her to do this procedure in the time it's taking you to finish.
Elliot : [thinking] Enough! He's never been there for you! Burn this bridge once and for all!
Dr. Cox : Barbie, honest to God, if you...
Elliot : You know what, Dr. Cox? I have so had it with this whole macho alpha-male thing, and I have heard every tired, recycled put-down you have in you. So, from now on, save your stupid lessons for someone who gives a frick, because honestly, I don't even wanna see you or the stupid poodle perm of yours unless it's walking away from me.
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J.D. : Okay, everybody, gather around please?
Dr. Cox : Newbie, I need to talk to you?
J.D. : I'm a little busy right now, Perry!
Dr. Cox : Oh. My fault, I'll come back later.
J.D. : Oh, and another thing, From now on, I'd prefer it if you'd address me as "Dr. Dorian."
Dr. Cox : [sotto] Are you really doing this?
J.D. : [sotto] You bet your ass I am. And from now on, if you have a problem with me, you come see me in private, not in front of my boys! My boys got enough to worry about!
Dr. Cox : [sotto] Wrap it up, there, bingo.
J.D. : I simply will not tolerate it, Perry! And neither will my boys!
Dr. Cox : [sotto] The next minute you find yourself alone, I'm gonna kill ya.
J.D. : [sotto] It was worth it.
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Dr. Cox : Tell you what, there, Gidget, if you promise to leave right now, I won't yell at you in front of your peons anymore.
J.D. : You ruined my credibility! Now look me in the eyes and tell me that's not messed up!
Dr. Cox : Fair enough. Later on today when you are with your residents, I'll come up for something, you'll tell me you're too busy in a manly way, and I will contritely turn around and walk out of the room with my tail between my legs. Problem solved.
J.D. : Can you pull off contrite?
Dr. Cox : Can you pull off manly way?
J.D. : Should have seen that coming.
