Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Cox : Oh, whoa, now. What happened to - what happened to feisty Barbie, huh? You know, it took me a helluva lot to shake off that tongue-lashing you gave me yesterday.
Elliot : Yeah, well, yesterday I had a mentor, but she turned out to be insane. I mean, how am I supposed to take professional advice from somebody who can't even hold together their personal life?
Dr. Cox : Look, I know you and I have never really connected - maybe that's because you're relentlessly annoying, or maybe it's my fault because I can't tolerate relentlessly annoying people - I don't know. But answer me one question: Do you think I'm a good teacher?
Elliot : To some people.
Dr. Cox : Fair enough. Why don't we go ahead and take a look at my personal life? I am in love with a woman that I hate, my two-year-old son calls me "Pewwy," and - this is something that I've never actually shared with anybody before, but - on Saturday nights, I like to throw on a nice dress, go out to dive bars, and insist that everybody call me Mrs. Haberdasher!
Elliot : [laughs, then thinks] No, you don't.
Dr. Cox : Well, even if I did, it wouldn't really matter since that has nothing to do with how good of a teacher I am. Stick with me here, Barbie. The point is that if you finally found somebody who makes you believe in yourself as much as you did yesterday, well, I would think twice before I wrote that person off.
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Dr. Cox : How, uh, how old is this patient?
Elliot : Seventy-nine.
Dr. Cox : And... how old would you say he was when you started this procedure?
Elliot : [thinking] The more I thought about how awesome Molly is, the more I got sick of Dr. Cox's crap.
Dr. Cox : Oh my God, I could fly to China, adopt a child, raise her, send her to medical school, and then train her to do this procedure in the time it's taking you to finish.
Elliot : [thinking] Enough! He's never been there for you! Burn this bridge once and for all!
Dr. Cox : Barbie, honest to God, if you...
Elliot : You know what, Dr. Cox? I have so had it with this whole macho alpha-male thing, and I have heard every tired, recycled put-down you have in you. So, from now on, save your stupid lessons for someone who gives a frick, because honestly, I don't even wanna see you or the stupid poodle perm of yours unless it's walking away from me.
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J.D. : Half of what rappers say doesn't make any sense. Like that Snoop Dogg Dr.Dre song? What is "still hittin' them corners and those ho-hos girl" mean?
Turk : Many diadvantaged African-Americans have limited nutritional choices, therefore they must subsist of Ho-Ho snack cakes. It's a black thing, bra.
Dr. Clock : Actually, Turk, it's "still hittin' them corners and those low-lows girl". It's low-lows, not ho-hos.
Elliot : See, Turk, in the hood, a low-low is a low rider, or a car with an adjusted suspension which allows it to bounce up and down.
[Elliot and Molly both inmitate bouncing]
J.D. : [laughs] Ha-ha-ha.
Elliot : And Dre and Snoop like driving around together in their low riders around the corners, or lizzle-rizzles.
[starts rapping]
Elliot : I'm representin' for them gangsters all across the world!
Dr. Clock : Still hittin' them corners and them low-lows girls!
Elliot , Dr. Clock : I'm takin' my time to perfect the beat, and I still got love for da street!
Carla : Turk, you just got schooled on rap by the two whitest chicks in America!
Turk : None of you can prove it.
J.D. : I got it on tape.
Elliot , Dr. Clock : Whicka, whicka, whicka.
[imitating scratching discs]
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Elliot : [thinking] There's Dr. Kelso. Okay, you're chief resident now, so say hi. But don't stop, or you'll have to come up with something else to say, and you know you don't improvise well.
Elliot : Hi, Dr. Kelso!
Dr. Kelso : Dr. Reid.
[she stops]
Elliot : I see you've trimmed your nose hair!
[Dr. Kelso looks at her]
Elliot : [thinking] Frick on a stick!
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Elliot : Frick on a stick with a brick!
