Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Dinner Party (1994)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry Seinfeld : Look to the Cookie Elaine, look to the Cookie.

• [last lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : I heard a weatherman say that 75 percent of your body heat is actually lost through the top of the head, which sounds like you could go skiing naked if you got a good hat. But there's no hat that makes a statement quite like the hat with the flaps. The hat with the flaps makes a statement that no other hat makes. This hat says to the world, "I would rather have the heat in my skull than anything society could possibly offer me." In fact, I would say if you're on trial for a serious crime and your lawyer recommends the insanity defense, this is the hat to wear. Your lawyer should insist. He should just go: "Your Honor, the defense rests."

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : We never should have landed a man on the moon. It's a mistake. Now everything is compared to that one accomplishment. Now we go, "I can't believe they can land a man on the moon, and taste my coffee!" I think we all would've been a lot happier if we hadn't landed a man on the moon. We'd go: "They can't make a prescription bottle top open easily? I'm not surprised they couldn't land man on the moon. Things make perfect sense to me now." Neil Armstrong should've said, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for every whining, complaining S.O.B. on the face of the Earth."

• Jerry Seinfeld : And a black and white Cookie for me, peace.

• Jerry Seinfeld : Another babka?

• Counterwoman : Can I get you something else?

  Jerry Seinfeld : No, we're good.

  Counterwoman : How about a nice box of scram?

• Elaine Benes : You know, I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile.

  Jerry Seinfeld : I'm looking forward to it.

  Elaine Benes : Yeah, I think it's gonna be a very smooth transition for you.

• Jerry Seinfeld : I don't feel so good.

  Elaine Benes : What's wrong?

  Jerry Seinfeld : My stomach. I think it was that cookie.

  Elaine Benes : The black-and-white?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Yeah.

  Elaine Benes : Not getting along?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I think I got David Duke and Farrakhan down there.

  Elaine Benes : Well, if we can't look to the cookie, where can we look?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, my stomach! I feel like I'm gonna throw up!

  Elaine Benes : Wait. What about your vomit streak?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I know! I haven't thrown up since June 29, 1980!

• Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, look, Elaine, the black-and-white cookie. I love the black-and-white. Two races of flavor living side by side in harmony. It's a wonderful thing, isn't it?

• Jerry Seinfeld : See, the key to eating a black-and-white cookie, Elaine... is you wanna get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet still somehow, racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie... all our problems would be solved.