Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Diplomat's Club (1995)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : How about the little scam the airlines have going now with these special clubs. Hundred and fifty dollar a year to sit in a room, eat peanuts, drink coffee and soda and read magazines. Excuse me, isn't this the flight? I already got four hours of this coming to me. What am I paying for? How about an I-got-all-my-luggage club? Can I get into that? Where is that club? I would like to join that club. Airlines love to divide us up into classes. You know, like when you're sitting in coach, they always have the stewardess close that stupid curtain, you know? They always give you that little look like, "Maybe if you had worked a little harder."

• Jerry Seinfeld : Hey, Elaine's quitting.

  George Costanza : Really?

  Elaine Benes : I'm marchin' in.

  George Costanza : I've done the march in. Best feeling in the world.

  Jerry Seinfeld : How about the march out?

  George Costanza : Not as good. That's when you realize all the money you're losing.

• Jerry Seinfeld : Is this even a road?

  Katie : Oh, we lost the road a half hour ago.

  Jerry Seinfeld : What? Why didn't you wake me up?

  Katie : You told me not to bother you with minor details.

  Jerry Seinfeld : No road is a major detail!