Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Red Dot (1991)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Elaine Benes : When do consider sex has taken place?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I would say when the nipple makes its first appearance.

• [last lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : But in a way, I think I inadvertently turned this guy into an alcoholic, and I hate being around alcoholics because they're either telling you how much they love you or how much they hate you... and those are the two statements that scare me the most. But I think he's okay now because I don't know how he feels about me. He's finally off the wagon. You mean "on the wagon". Don't get smart.

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Every mall has a Hoffritz in it. I'm sorry, this has gotta be a little bit of a scary place to work. I don't know how you feel about it. Do you want to be standing there having people coming in all day going, "I need knives. I need more knives. Do you have any bigger knives? I'd like a bigger knife. A big, long, sharp knife. That's what I'm in the market for. I like them really sharp. Do you have one with hooks and gouges and, like, blades that... Kind of serrated? That's the kind of knife I'm looking for. I need one I can throw. I need another one I can just hack away with. Do you have anything like that?"