- George Costanza: [Elaine is going to a lesbian wedding] I get the feeling when lesbians are looking at me, they're thinking "That's why I'm not heterosexual".
- Woman With Elaine: I started riding these trains in the '40s. Those days, a man would give up their seat for a woman. Now we're liberated and we have to stand.
- Elaine Benes: It's ironic.
- Woman With Elaine: What's ironic?
- Elaine Benes: This, that we've come all this way, we have made all this progress, but you know we've lost the little things, the niceties.
- Woman With Elaine: No, I mean what does "ironic" mean?
- Elaine Benes: What time is your job interview, George?
- George Costanza: 9:45.
- Jerry: Remember, don't whistle on the elevator.
- George Costanza: Why not?
- Jerry: That's what Willie Loman told Biff before his interview in "Death of a Salesman".
- George Costanza: What, you are comparing me to Biff Loman? Very encouraging. The biggest loser in the history of American literature.
- Kramer: All right, Coney Island. Ok, you can take the B or the F and switch for the N at Broadway Lafayette, or you can go over the bridge to DeKalb and catch the Q to Atlantic Avenue, then switch to the IRT 2, 3, 4 or 5, but don't get on the G. See that's very tempting, but you wind up on Smith and 9th street, then you got to get on the R.
- Elaine Benes: Couldn't he just take the D straight to Coney Island?
- Kramer: Well, yeah...
- [last lines]
- Jerry: So I take the subway down to Coney Island to go on the Cyclone. I'm riding on the subway. I'm sitting on the D train for an hour and 15 minutes to go on a scary ride. Okay, how dumb is that? You know that first sharp drop on the Cyclone? Fell asleep.
- [first lines]
- Jerry: When I was a kid, my favorite ride was the bumper car ride. Remember? Going around in a circle. There was always one kid on the bumper cars that could not do it. Do you remember this kid? As soon as the ride gets started, he'd be, like, stuck in a pack of empty cars. Just: "Excuse me. Excuse me. It won't go! Come on! It's almost over!" You know, he always ends up with the attendant hanging off that big pole, helping him steer it. You know. "Stop crying." Dsh. Then there's always that other... One other really bad car, the helpless father-and-son team. This is another car just not going anywhere. They're never organized. Who's on the wheel? Who's pressing on the gas? They're just: "Ho, son, turn the wheel."
- Elaine Benes: Why isn't it moving? What could go wrong with a train? It's on tracks! There's no traffic! How could a train get stuck? Step on the gas!
- Scam Woman: 8 dollars? 8 Dollars?
- George Costanza: What are you doning? You're robbing me?
- Scam Woman: I wasted my whole morning with you for 8 dollars?