Sex and the City (TV Series)

Bay of Married Pigs (1998)

Sarah Jessica Parker: Carrie Bradshaw

Quotes 

• Charlotte York : I hate it when you're the only single person at a dinner party and they all look at you like you're a...

  Carrie Bradshaw : Loser?

  Miranda Hobbes : Leper.

  Samantha Jones : Whore.

• Miranda Hobbes : When someone gets married all bets are off, they become married and we become the enemy.

  Carrie Bradshaw : [voice over narration]  As the only single lawyer working at her law firm, Miranda had given this topic some thought.

  Samantha Jones : You know, married women are threatened because we can have sex anytime, anywhere, and with anyone.

  Carrie Bradshaw : We can?

  Samantha Jones : And they're afraid we're gonna have it anytime, anywhere with their husbands.

  Charlotte York : I would never sleep with a married man.

  Samantha Jones : What makes you so sure you haven't? Wedding rings come off you know. Face it ladies, if you're still single, you are not to be trusted.

• Carrie Bradshaw : [to David & Lisa]  I'm beginning to think I may not be the marrying kind.

• Carrie Bradshaw : [voice over narration]  He was like the flesh and blood equivalent of a DKNY dress. You know it's not your style, but it's right there, so you try it on anyway.

• [first lines] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : [voice over narration]  One of the best things about living in a city like New York is leaving it. My friend, Patience and her husband invited me out to the Hamptons for the weekend. Patience and Peter were the perfect married couple. They were fun, smart, and they looked like they fell out of a J. Crew catalogue. If their house wasn't right on the beach, I would've hated them.

• Carrie Bradshaw : [to Carrie]  I'm determined to make partner in this firm, even if I have to be a lesbian partner.

• Charlotte York : How did you manage to get a new boyfriend in a week?

  Carrie Bradshaw : He's not my boyfriend. He's just somebody I'm trying on.

• Carrie Bradshaw : [voice over narration]  Everywhere I looked, people were standing in two's. It was like Noah's, upper west side rent-controlled ark.

• Carrie Bradshaw : Okay, I owe you. I didn't know that all of his buddies were gonna be married. Oh, my god, you're doing tequila shots?

  Samantha Jones : [drunk]  You see, that buddy over there? I fucked him. You see that buddy over there? I fucked him too. I never thought I'd see them again.

  Carrie Bradshaw : Well, maybe you should start tagging your married men and that way you can keep track of them.

• [last lines] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : [voice over narration]  As I sifted through the rubble of my marriage skirmish, I had a thought. Maybe the fight between marrieds and singles is like the war in Northern Island. We're all basically the same, but somehow we wound up on different sides. Sure, it'd be great to have that one special person to walk home with, but sometimes there's nothing better than meeting your single girlfriends for a night at the movies.

• Charlotte York : I'm confused. Why did he do that? Did he wanna have sex with you?

  Carrie Bradshaw : I don't know. It didn't feel sexual.

  Samantha Jones : Maybe he just wanted to show it off. Like a monkey.

  [Miranda titters] 

  Samantha Jones : So, how big was it?

  Waiter : Fresh pepper?

  [holds pepper mill] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : [as Samantha gives the downward-held pepper mill a very meaningful look]  Yes, please, thank you very much.

  [Miranda smiles as the waiter serves pepper] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : That will do.

  Waiter : [to Samantha, with the mill held, inadvertently, in front of his groin]  Would you like some fresh pepper?

  Samantha Jones : Oh, honey, I'd love some. In fact, I think everyone at this table could use a *lot* of fresh pepper.

  [the women smile] 

  Samantha Jones : Thanks.

  [as waiter walks away:] 

  Samantha Jones : Mm.

• Carrie Bradshaw : [voice over narration]  Was Miranda right? Were we enemies? Is there a secret cold war between marrieds and singles?

• Carrie Bradshaw : [voice-over]  The next morning I woke up feeling rested and fabulous. I couldn't wait to go out and take in the spectacular view.

  Peter : [sleepily, drinking coffee]  Morning.

  [and not wearing any pants at all... and as Carrie looks on, flabbergasted:] 

  Peter : Patience went out to get you some muffins. She'll be right back.

  [smiles] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : [voice-over]  There he was. Full-frontal... friend.

  [aloud:] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : Good!

  [voice-over again:] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : He just stood there. Casual. Happy. Hanging out. I didn't know what to do, what to say.

  [aloud:] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : Great!

  [voice-over again:] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : I only knew one thing. That's *way* too much Peter before coffee.

  [frowns as she goes into next room]