- Miranda: Women don't care. We care about nice arms, great eyes, a big dick... I've never once heard a woman say: "He had such a big full scrotum."
- Carrie: I'm thinking balls are to men, what purses are to women. It's just a little bag but we'd feel naked in public without it.
- Miranda: I made him cry. No, first I yelled at him - I yelled at my friend the cancer patient - then I made him cry.
- Steve: Who's gonna fuck a uniball bartender?