The Simpsons (TV Series)
Bart the Fink (1996)
Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson
Quotes
-
Marge Simpson : What are you gonna spend your money on, kids?
Bart Simpson : There's a special on tacos down at the Tacomat: hundred tacos for a hundred dollars. I'm gonna get that.
Lisa Simpson : I'm gonna contribute my money to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
Marge Simpson : Tacos? Public broadcasting? I won't have you kids throwing your money away like that. You're both coming downtown with me and you're gonna put that money in the bank.
-
Bart Simpson : Come on, Lis, Krusty doesn't want our attention anymore. Let's go worship somebody who has the guts to be a celebrity.
Lisa Simpson : Yeah, Krusty doesn't wanna be a clown. He's happy just being another blue-collar bozo.
Krusty the Clown : Meh.
Bart Simpson : Krusty's tired of having phonies around pretending to be his friends. I'm sure he'll find plenty of people who'll like him for who he is.
Krusty the Clown : Uh... it could happen. Nah, who needs friends? The incessant beep of the global positioning system is all the companionship I need.
[taps the GPS box, which delivers a healthy electric shock]
Krusty the Clown : AAAARGH!
[hurling the box over the side of the boat]
Krusty the Clown : Tell me where you are now, you bastard!
-
Bart Simpson : [watching a news report of Krusty's arrest] Krusty's my hero. How could I do this to him?
Lisa Simpson : It is a tragedy for all us kids, but, Bart, you can't beat yourself up.
Bart Simpson : Yeah. There'll be enough people to do that for me at recess tomorrow.
-
Lisa Simpson : I got their new Thrifty Saver savings account. 2.3% annual interest instead of the normal 2.25. So a year from now, I'll have an extra nickel.
Bart Simpson : I got the account where you get free customized checks. I chose the Hindenburg flip-book series.
[flipping through the checks, he watches an image of the zeppelin catch fire]
Bart Simpson : Cool!
-
Marge Simpson : You'll feel better knowing your money's in the hands of professionals.
Clerk in Ape Mask : Ook, ook. Are you folks ready to go ape?
Lisa Simpson : Mom?
Marge Simpson : A professional in an ape mask is still a professional.
-
Homer Simpson : [after spending the night in a haunted house] Best night's sleep I ever had.
Lisa Simpson : Their tap water tasted better than ours.
Executor : Here you go. $100 each. The rest goes to Ann Landers, as was stipulated in your aunt's will.
Homer Simpson , Marge Simpson , Lisa Simpson , Bart Simpson : Hmm?
Executor : Oh, I'm sorry. I must have continued talking after you left the office. I do that sometimes.
[laughing diabolically, he turns to leave]
Executor : Oh, my.
-
Lisa Simpson : Bart, you're seeing Krusty everywhere because you want to tell him you're sorry for causing his death. Would it help if I told you you're not responsible for Krusty's death?
Bart Simpson : Yes. Yes, it would.
Lisa Simpson : Well, I can't. You'll just have to learn to live with your mental problem.
Bart Simpson : Wait a minute. All those things I saw. There's a connection. The truck full of nets and buckets, the queasy guy, the lobsters... they all point to one thing. Follow me.
-
Lisa Simpson : Hey, you've got a pacemaker scar just like Krusty.
Bart Simpson : And Krusty's superfluous third nipple.
Krusty the Clown : [groaning] Can't you see I don't wanna be Krusty anymore? That's why I faked my death.
Lisa Simpson : But we saw your plane crash.
Krusty the Clown : Yeah, but I wasn't in it.
[narrating over a flashback]
Krusty the Clown : Just before I hit the mountain, I jumped out of the plane into a carefully-placed net.
[Krusty hits a rock, then lands on the net]
Bart Simpson : So, now that we've blown your cover, I guess you've gotta come back and do your show again.
Lisa Simpson : [with a nervous giggle] Or kill us.
-
Captain McAllister : Ahoy there, minnows.
Bart Simpson : [blowing up a Krusty balloon] Ahoy. Have you seen this man?
Captain McAllister : Arr, that's Handsome Pete. He dances for nickels. Pete, ye got some customers!
[a little person with a face like Krusty's comes out and starts dancing and playing his accordion]
Lisa Simpson : [Bart blows the balloon up some more] No, we're looking for this man, Krusty the Clown.
Captain McAllister : Mmm. Narr, narr, narr.
Lisa Simpson : It's hopeless, Bart. We've searched up and down these docks, from pier one to that Pier 1 by pier 17.
Bart Simpson : [as they leave, he notices a list of people from whom checks aren't accepted] Lisa, look. A signature with stars around it, just like Krusty's.
Lisa Simpson : Rory B. Bellows. Slip 8. Let's go.
Captain McAllister : [as they leave, Bart flips a coin into Pete's cup] Not a quarter. Darr, he'll be dancing for hours.
-
Krusty the Clown : All right, I admit it. I miss the phonies, but that's all I miss. That and Shirley Jones and Marty Ingels' New Year's Eve party.
Lisa Simpson : What about that great feeling you get from knowing you're better than regular people?
Bart Simpson : What about being an illiterate TV clown who's still more respected than all the scientists, doctors, and educators in the country put together?
Krusty the Clown : [throwing his anchor over] Yeah! I'm not gonna let those guys hog all the respect while I'm out here in some stinking tub.
[jumping into the water and swimming back to shore]
Krusty the Clown : That's just what those eggheads want. Well, forget it, Poindexter. 'Cause Krusty's back in town!
Bart Simpson , Lisa Simpson : Yay!
Bart Simpson : [walking along the beach] So, Krusty, what are you gonna do about your tax problem?
Krusty the Clown : Don't sweat it. The life of Rory B. Bellows is insured for a surprisingly large amount.
[his boat out in the water explodes]