The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart the Murderer (1991)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bart : Uh, say, are you guys crooks?

  Fat Tony : Bart, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?

  Bart : No.

  Fat Tony : Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?

  Bart : Uh uh.

  Fat Tony : And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes?

  Bart : I guess that's okay.

  Fat Tony : Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?

  Bart : Hell, no.

• Fat Tony : Hey, pick a horse, kid. 3rd race, give it a good one.

  Bart : Eat my shorts.

  Fat Tony : Eat My Shorts. Let see... Hey, wait a minute you little punk! Eat My Shorts is in the 5th Race, I said the 3rd race!

  Bart : Don't have a cow.

  Fat Tony : Don't Have A Cow in the 3rd.

• Bart : Aah! You ate my homework?... I didn't know dogs really did that.

• Mrs. Krabappel : Bart Simpson, you're late! Go to the office and fill out a tardy slip.

  Bart : But I'm only

  [looks at the clock] 

  Bart : five, ten, fifteen, twenty... forty minutes? That's pretty damn late!

• Fat Tony : Hey Bart, I hope there are no hard feelings.

  Bart : Get bent.

  Fat Tony : I deserved that.

• Lewis : [covered in leaves]  Hey, look at me. I'm Skinner's body!

  Bart : That is not funny, Lewis.

  Milhouse Van Houten : Well, I heard Skinner's buried under his parking spot.

  Richard : Well, I heard he was ground up into hamburger and served to us at lunch.

  Nelson : I heard Bart had Skinner killed by gangsters.

  Bart : That's not true! It's just a rumor. You're engaged in speculation. I know the law, you can't prove anything.

• Bart : [while working for Fat Tony]  Gimme three fingers of milk, Ma.

• Bart : Did you kill my principal?

  Fat Tony : Uh, chinese guy with a moustache?

• Bart : I used to think your gang was cool, but now I learned that crime doesn't pay.

  Fat Tony : You're right, Bart. It doesn't.

  [gangsters leave the courthouse chauffeured in stretch limousines]