The Simpsons (TV Series)

Burns, Baby Burns (1996)

Harry Shearer: Ned Flanders, Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Eddie, Kent Brockman

Quotes 

• Ned Flanders : Ho ho ho, suckin' down the cider, uh? Hey, word to the wise...

  [shows Homer a card] 

  Ned Flanders : season pass. It pays for itself after the sixteenth visit. You know, most people don't know the difference between apple cider and apple juice, but I do. Now here's a little trick to help you remember. If it's clear and yella', you've got juice there, fella. If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town. Now, there's two exceptions and it gets kinda tricky here...

  Homer's Brain : You can stay, but I'm leaving.

  [Homer's brain floats away] 

  Ned Flanders : ...can be yellow, if they're using late season apples. And, of course, in Canada, the whole thing's flip-flopped.

  Ned Flanders : [Homer collapses]  Oh my! I'd better get you some cider!

• Montgomery Burns : Smithers, take off my belt.

  Waylon Smithers : With pleasure, sir.

• Montgomery Burns : [after realizing Larry flunked his test scores]  Oh! I just remembered it's time for my annual donation! I wonder how much I should give.

  Yale Admissions Man : Well frankly, test scores like Larry's would call for a *very* generous contribution. For example, a score of 400 would require a donation of new football uniforms, 300, a new dormitory and in Larry's case, we would need an international airport.

  Yale Admissions Woman : Yale *could* use an international airport, Mr. Burns.

  Montgomery Burns : Are you mad? I'm not made of airports! Get out!

• Montgomery Burns : Oh, Admiral Carstairs, I'd like you to meet my son, Larry.

  Larry Burns : Hey, Skipper, good to meet you. Where'd you start out, on the Merrimack? Hey, I should talk. I hope I look that good when I'm 200.

  Admiral Carstairs : [angry]  That's such insubordination!

  [Mr. Burns takes Larry aside] 

  Montgomery Burns : Larry, please. He's very sensitive about his age.