The Simpsons (TV Series)

Fear of Flying (1994)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Barney Gumble, Guy Incognito, Pilot #2, Grampa Simpson, Pilot Voice, Alive Character #4

Quotes 

• [after Homer has been banned from Moe's, a man comes in who looks exactly like Homer except for a fake-looking moustache and an English voice] 

  Guy N. Cognito : Greetings good men, might I trouble you for a drink?

  Moe : Oh get out of here, Homer!

  Guy N. Cognito : Homer? Who is Homer? My name is Guy N. Cognito.

  [Homer walks past Moe's, despondent. From inside comes the sound of Guy N. Cognito getting beaten up by Moe, and he's thrown unconscious out of the bar and onto the street] 

  Homer : Oh, my God, this man is my exact double!

  [a small, fluffy-tailed dog walks by] 

  Homer : That dog has a fluffy tail!

  [Homer leaves Guy and starts pursuing the dog] 

  Homer : Come here, fluff!

• Homer : This is it. The last bar in Springfield. If they don't let me in, I'll have to quit drinking.

  Homer's Liver : YAY!

  Homer : Shut up, liver!

• Homer : I wanna shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I wanna explore the world. I wanna watch TV in a different time zone. I wanna visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero. I want to LIVE, Marge. Won't you let me live? Won't you, please?

• Lisa : Cheer up, Dad. Did you know the Chinese use the same word for 'crisis' as they do for 'opportunity'?

  Homer : Yes. Crisitunity.

• Homer : Wait a minute... there's something bothering me about this place. I know - this lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies.

  [leaves] 

  Lesbian : What's her problem?

• Moe : That's it, Homer. I'm taking your caricature down from Mount Lushmore, and I'm pulling your favorite song out of the jukebox.

  Homer : "It's Raining Men"?

  Moe : Yeah, not no more it ain't.

• Homer : Lisa, the important thing is for your mother to repress what happened. Push it deep down inside her, so she'll never annoy us again.

• Marge : Everybody's afraid of something.

  Homer : [smugly]  Not everybody.

  Marge : Sock puppets.

  Homer : [shrieks in terror]  Where? Where?

• Homer : You heard your mother's ramblings - she's fine, now behave.

• Homer : Good news, everybody! Because I endangered lives, we can fly anywhere we want!

• Homer : Ever since you left therapy, all you can talk about is yourself. Well, what about me, Marge?

  Marge : I just left my first session and I haven't even opened my mouth yet.

  Homer : You see? You see? *I* just left *my* first session and *I* haven't even opened *my* mouth yet!