The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer at the Bat (1992)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Ralph Wiggum

Quotes 

• [Darryl Strawberry is playing Homer's position] 

  Lisa Simpson : You stink, Strawberry! We want Home Run Homer!

  Bart Simpson : Daaarrryl... Daaarrryl...

  Lisa Simpson , Bart Simpson : [in unison, with Maggie silently joining in]  Daaarrryl! Daaarrryl!

  Marge Simpson : Children, that's not very nice.

  Lisa Simpson : Mom, they're professional athletes; they're used to this sort of thing! It rolls right off their backs.

  [a sad-looking Strawberry wipes away a single tear and sniffles] 

• Homer Simpson : Where do you think you're going?

  Lisa Simpson : To the game.

  Homer Simpson : No, no! I don't want you to see me sitting on my worthless butt!

  Bart Simpson : We've seen it, Dad.

• [Marge is filming Homer sitting in the dugout at a softball game. Homer starts to scratch his crotch] 

  Marge Simpson : Oh, dear.

  [points the camera at her feet] 

  Marge Simpson : Children, tell me when your father stops scratching himself.

  [long pause] 

  Marge Simpson : Kids...?

  Bart Simpson : We'll tell you, Mom.

• [Marge is recording Homer's first game on a camcorder, and is "commentating" as a Springfield Police player is batting] 

  Marge Simpson : And the next man wants to hit the ball, too.

  [batter hits the ball; crowd cheers] 

  Marge Simpson : And he does.

  [batter runs across the bases] 

  Marge Simpson : And there he goes, off in that direction. And everyone is happy.

  Bart Simpson : Uh, mom, why don't you let me call the game?

  Marge Simpson : It's alright dear, I can do it.