The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer vs. the 18th Amendment (1997)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Klown, Mayor Quimby, Clerk, Narrator, Irish Cop #1, Drunk #4

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.

• Quimby's Aide : Election in November. Election in November.

  Mayor Quimby : AGAIN? This stupid country.

• Rex Banner : You're out there somewhere, beer baron! And I'll find you.

  Homer : [way off in the distance]  No, you won't.

  Rex Banner : Yes, I will

  Homer : Won't!

• Homer Simpson : [Homer has a giant beer barrel over his head]  Look at me! I'm the Prime Minister of Ireland!

• Homer : Ooh, it's been St. Patrick's Day for hours, and I'm still not drunk yet.

• Homer : Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life and I plan to keep it.

• [Banner is interrogating a drunk Barney in the street] 

  Rex Banner : Listen, rummy, I'm gonna say it plain and simple. Where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger jerking suds on the side?

  Barney : Yes?

• Bart Simpson : Gee, Homer, you sure do suck tonight!

  Homer Simpson : Yeah! Suck like a fox!

• Homer Simpson : Kaboom, blam! Oh excuse me again dear!

  Marge Simpson : Homer. There's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your home made liquor is exploding again.

  Homer Simpson : What dear? KABLAMMO!

• [Marge is about to take some laundry to the basement when she notices a sign on the door reading "DO NOT ENTER", with translations in French, Spanish, German and Chinese beneath it] 

  Marge Simpson : That's funny. I used to be able to go down there.

  [Homer and Bart come out carrying multiple bowling balls containing bootleg liquor] 

  Homer Simpson : [hurried]  Going bowling. Not back, avenge deaths.

  Marge Simpson : Why do you have so many bowling balls?

  Homer Simpson : [sighs apologetically]  Ah, I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge. So long!

  [he and Bart drive away] 

  Marge Simpson : [annoyed]  Hmmmm.

• Homer Simpson : 42 bathtubs, please.

  Houseware Warehouse Employee : You know, they're 50 for $3,000 today.

  Homer Simpson : I said 42!

• Marge Simpson : Beer!

  Homer Simpson : I can explain, Marge. Please let me explain. Oh, why won't you let me explain?

  Marge Simpson : You're the one the papers have been talking about. That mysterious Beer Baron who's been supplying Springfield with alcohol. How have you been getting away with this?

  Homer Simpson : Well... And I can explain, remember? I fill the balls with beer that I found at the dump. And then I bowl them and some underground pipes take them into Moe's.

  Marge Simpson : Homer, that's very clever.

  Homer Simpson : Huh?

  Lisa Simpson : Mom?

  Marge Simpson : Well, it is. I've known your father since high school and this is the cleverest thing he's ever done. Besides, he's only breaking a silly, 200-year-old law.

  Homer Simpson : It is silly, Marge. And look at all the money I'm making!

  [Homer waves the money at Marge] 

  Marge Simpson : Whoo!

  Lisa Simpson : Mom! Prohibition may be unpopular, but it's the law, and we still have...

  Marge Simpson , Homer Simpson , Bart Simpson : GO TO YOUR ROOM, LISA!