The Simpsons (TV Series)

Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (1991)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Troy McClure, Passenger, Barney Gumble, Man #2 at Lincoln Memorial, Thomas Jefferson, Brad Fletcher, Texan, FBI Agent #1, House Speaker

Quotes 

• Homer : What does the "I" stand for?

  Tour Guide : Important.

  Homer : Ah. And the "V"?

  Tour Guide : Very.

  Homer : One more question...

  Tour Guide : Person.

  Homer : I see. What does the "I" stand for again?

• [looking at the Washington Monument, Marge starts giggling] 

  Homer : What's so funny?

  [she whispers in his ear] 

  Homer : Oh Marge, grow up.

• [driving in a cab through Washington D.C] 

  Marge Simpson : Look, the I.R.S.

  Homer : [out the window]  BOO!

  I.R.S. Employee : [out his office window]  Oh, boo yourself.

• Lisa : [at the Jefferson Memorial. Talking to the statue]  Mr. Jefferson, I have a problem.

  Thomas Jefferson : I know your problem: the Lincoln Memorial was *too crowded*.

  Lisa : Yes, well...

  Thomas Jefferson : [referring to how empty his memorial is]  No one ever comes to see me. Frankly, I don't blame them. *I* didn't do anything important. JUST the Declaration of Independence, the Louisiana Purchase, the dumbwaiter!...

  Lisa : Uh, maybe I should go... I seem to have caught you at a bad time...

  [walks out] 

  Thomas Jefferson : WAIT! Don't go!... I get so lonely...

  [tumbleweed blows through] 

• Faith Crowley : Lisa, I'm Faith Crowley, Patriotism editor of Reading Digest.

  Homer : Oh I love your magazine. My favorite section is "How to increase your word power." That thing is really, really, really... good.

• [Lisa wins an essay contest] 

  Homer : Woo-hoo! Who woulda guessed reading and writing would pay off.

• Homer : [reading the 'Motoring Miss-haps' section of 'Reading Digest']  Hey, a cartoon!

  [in the cartoon, a woman tries to explain a pile of metal that used to be a car to her irate husband] 

  Homer : "Well, dear, you always wanted a compact."

  [laughs] 

  Homer : Ain't it the truth!

  Marge Simpson : No, it's not the truth, Homer! It's well-documented that women are safer drivers than men.

  Homer : Aw, Marge! Cartoons don't have any deep meaning; they're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh.

  [Homer gets up, exposing his rear cleavage. Bart chuckles]