The Simpsons (TV Series)

Radio Bart (1992)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Todd Flanders

Quotes 

• Bart Simpson : [speaking from his microphone]  Rod! Todd! This is God!

  Rod Flanders : How did you get on the radio?

  Bart Simpson : Whaddya mean, "How did I get on the radio?"! I CREATED THE UNIVERSE! Stupid kids.

  [Rod and Todd quickly fall to their knees and clasp their hands] 

  Todd Flanders : Forgive my brother. We believe you!

  Bart Simpson : Talk is cheap. Perhaps a test of thy faith. Walk through the wall! I will remove it for you...

  [Rod tries to but only hits himself] 

  Bart Simpson : Later.

  [laughs] 

  Todd Flanders : What do you want from us?

  Bart Simpson : I got a job for thee. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and leave them on the Simpsons' porch.

  Rod Flanders : But those cookies belong to our parents.

  Bart Simpson : Ugh! Look - do you want a happy God, or a vengeful God?

  Todd Flanders : Happy God!

  Bart Simpson : Then quit flappin' your lip and make with the cookies!

  Todd Flanders , Rod Flanders : Yes, sir!

• Lisa : Bart Simpson! The thought of a boy trapped in a well brought out the kindness and love of the entire community. When they find out you've been fooling them, they're gonna want to cut you up with rusty razors.

  Bart Simpson : Oh, yeah? And how are they gonna find out?

  Lisa : The police'll catch you sooner or later.

  Bart Simpson : The pol-ice!

  [sniggers] 

  Bart Simpson : They couldn't catch a cold.

  Lisa : Maybe not, but I bet you're stupid enough to leave a "Property of Bart Simpson" on that radio.

  Bart Simpson : D'oh!

• Homer : Hey, boy, how's the microphone workin'?

  Bart Simpson : Fine.

  [he replies apathetically, moving out of the way of the window where the microphone in the box is being used to prop the window open] 

  Homer : Bart! I would love to get a present like that!

  Bart Simpson : Here, you go - enjoy!

  [handing the box to Homer] 

  Homer : D'oh!

• Bart Simpson : [at the barber shop, getting a shave]  Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact discs, and I don't recall no one complaining.

  Jake the Barber : Damn right.

• Bart Simpson : I'm here for my free birthday sundae.

  [the clerk places a tiny sundae on the counter] 

  Phineas Q. Butterfat's Clerk : Eat it and get out!

• Homer : Bart, I bet you think nothing's gonna top that cactus. Well, check out my present.

  Bart Simpson : Next.

  [tosses the gift apathetically after unwrapping it] 

  Marge Simpson : Bart, be polite.

  Bart Simpson : Next please.

  [apathetically] 

• Bart Simpson : [after a brief dance lesson]  Sorry, Rosarita. I got to get to my birthday party.

  Rosarita : Farewell, Señor Bart.