The Simpsons (TV Series)

Radio Bart (1992)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Teen in Commercial, Board Chairman in Commercial, Krusty the Clown, Sideshow Mel, Jake the Barber, Wall E. Weasel, Signor Beaverotti, Santa's Little Helper, Groundskeeper Willie, Cop, Falconer, Channel 6 News Announcer, Mayor Quimby

Quotes 

• Homer : Yeah, that Timmy is a real hero.

  Lisa : How do you mean dad?

  Homer : Well... he fell down a well... and he can't get out.

  Lisa : How does that make him a hero?

  Homer : Well it's more than you did.

• Kent Brockman : The time has come for finger-pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy's parents.

  Homer : It's not our fault! We didn't want the boy. He was an accident!

  Marge Simpson : Homer!

  Homer : Uh, could you edit that last part out?

  Kent Brockman : Mr. Simpson, we're live, coast-to-coast.

  Homer : D'oh!

• [Sting is helping in the digging effort to rescue Bart. As he digs, he sighs with exhaustion] 

  Marge Simpson : Sting, you really should rest. You'll wear yourself out.

  Sting : Not while one of my fans needs me!

  Marge Simpson : Actually, I've never heard Bart listen to one of your albums...

  Homer : Shh, Marge! He's a good digger!

• [while digging a mine shaft to rescue Bart from a well] 

  Apu : [gasp]  The canary.

  Groundskeeper Willie : GAS. OUT OF THE HOLE.

  [everyone runs out yelling; above ground, Dr. Hibbert examines the canary] 

  Dr. Hibbert : Gentlemen, this canary died of natural causes.

  Groundskeeper Willie : BACK IN THE HOLE.

  [everyone runs back in, yelling] 

• Sting : [singing]  There's a hole in my heart as deep as a well for that poor little boy, who's stuck halfway to Hell.

  Sideshow Mel : [singing]  Though we can't get him out, we'll do the next best thing...

  Rainier Wolfcastle : [singing]  We go on TV and sing, sing, sing!

  Celebrity singers : [singing]  And we're sending our love down the well...

  Krusty the Clown : [singing]  All the way down!

  Celebrity singers : [singing]  We're sending our love down the well...

  Krusty the Clown : [singing]  Down that well!

• Kent Brockman : [Interviewing Krusty about the ''We're Sending Our Love down the Well" video]  Krusty, what are your plans for the royalties?

  Krusty the Clown : We got to pay for promotion, shipping, distribution. You know, those limos out back aren't free. Whatever's left, we throw down the well.

• Homer : Hey, boy, how's the microphone workin'?

  Bart Simpson : Fine.

  [he replies apathetically, moving out of the way of the window where the microphone in the box is being used to prop the window open] 

  Homer : Bart! I would love to get a present like that!

  Bart Simpson : Here, you go - enjoy!

  [handing the box to Homer] 

  Homer : D'oh!

• Bart Simpson : [at the barber shop, getting a shave]  Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact discs, and I don't recall no one complaining.

  Jake the Barber : Damn right.

• Homer : Bart, I bet you think nothing's gonna top that cactus. Well, check out my present.

  Bart Simpson : Next.

  [tosses the gift apathetically after unwrapping it] 

  Marge Simpson : Bart, be polite.

  Bart Simpson : Next please.

  [apathetically]