- Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: Let's see-Farmer Billy's smoke-fed bacon, Farmer Billy's bacon-fed bacon, Farmer Billy's travel bacon... Mr. Simpson, if you really want to kill yourself, I also sell handguns!
- Homer Simpson: Wherever injustice shows its ugly face, I will be there, for I am the Pie Man.
- Bart Simpson: And wherever Pie Man is, the cupcake kid will not be far behind.
- Marge Simpson: While you two are up on the roof, why don't you take the leaves out of the gutter?
- Mr. Burns: [removes Pie Man's mask and gasps] Simpson! You'll rue the day you took a pie tin, made two holes for eyes, and tied a rubber band around the back!
- Homer Simpson: It's not a rubber band, it's a Scrunchie!
- Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: homer simpsons the pie man? impossible he has never thrown away a single pastry in his life.