- Mr. Burns: What are you doing in my corpse hatch?
- Chief Wiggum: Mr. Burns, you're under arrest for murder.
- Mr. Burns: Uh, did I say corpse hatch? I meant innocence tube.
- [as he hypnotizes Homer]
- Mesmerino: When I snap my fingers, you will transform into a... famous historian.
- [snaps his fingers]
- Homer Simpson: Look at me, I'm a famous historian! Out of my way!
- [the audience claps]
- Mesmerino: [to the audience] Thank you.
- [to Homer]
- Mesmerino: Now, you are... Emily Dickinson.
- [snaps his fingers]
- Homer Simpson: [waves his arms in the air and runs around] Look at me, I'm Angie Dickinson! Out of my way!
- Marge Simpson: I guess it was a pretty funny prank. I like the ones where nothing catches on fire.
- Homer Simpson: Yeah. The only thing hurt are feelings.
- Marge: Well, I guess it was a pretty funny practical joke. I like the ones where nothing catches on fire.