The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Springfield Files (1997)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Quotes 

• Alien : I bring you love.

  Lenny : It's bringing love, don't let it get away!

  Carl : Break its legs.

  [everyone starts to advance on the alien] 

  Lisa : Wait! You want an alien? This is your alien.

  [Shines torch on alien to reveal Mr. Burns in a twisted and disoriented state] 

  Mr. Burns : [in a high-toned voice]  Hello, children. I bring you love.

  Willy : Argh. It's a monster. Kill it, kill it!

  Smithers : It's not a monster, it's Mr. Burns!

  Willy : Aww, it's Mr. Burns! KILL IT! KILL IT!

• Lisa : All right! It's time for ABC's "TGIF" line-up!

  Bart Simpson : Lise, when you get a little older, you'll learn that Friday is just another day between NBC's "Must See Thursday" and CBS' "Saturday night craporama".

• Lisa : Dad, according to "Junior Skeptic Magazine", the chances are 175 million to 1 of another form of life actually coming in contact with ours.

  Homer : So?

  Lisa : It's just that the people who claim they've seen aliens are always pathetic lowlifes with boring jobs. Oh, and you, dad.

  [she chuckles nervously] 

  Bart Simpson : [coming in with a Super Soaker, improvised antennae on a helmet, and droopy-eye spring glasses]  I am the thing from Uranus.

  Homer : [whimpering, then realizing]  Oh, it's Bart. I can't believe it. I'm being mocked by my own children. On my birthday.

  Bart Simpson : It's your birthday?

  Homer : Yes. Remember? It's the same day as the dog's.

  Lisa : [the family begins cuddling and petting the dog]  Santa's Little Helper, it's your birthday? Ooh, we've got to get you a present. Yes, we do. Yes, we do.

  Bart Simpson : We love you, boy.

  Marge Simpson : Good doggy. Good doggy.

  Homer : [muttering under his breath]  Lousy, loveable dog.

• Homer : I'm telling you, I saw a creature from another planet.

  Lisa : Maybe you just dreamed it.

  Homer : Oh, yeah? Well, when I came to, I was covered with a sticky, translucent goo. Explain that.

  Marge Simpson : [serving breakfast]  More sausage?

  [he begins drooling] 

• Bart Simpson : Well, Lise, what do you think about the alien now?

  Lisa : I think there must be a more logical explanation, and I think the people of this town aren't going to be won over by three seconds of videotape.

  Homer : [hearing the doorbell, he opens the front door to see a group of townspeople outside]  Uh... I'm happy to answer any questions you have about the alien. Any questions at all.

  [Dr. Hibbert raises his hand] 

  Homer : Dr. Hibbert?

  Dr. Hibbert : Yes, is the alien carbon-based or silicon-based?

  Homer : Uh... the second one. Zilliphone. Next question.

  Barney : Is the alien Santa Claus?

  Homer : Uh... yes.

  Ned Flanders : Uh, were you on my roof last night stealing my weather vane?

  Homer : This interview is over!

  [as he goes back inside and slams the door, said weather vane falls to the ground]