The Simpsons (TV Series)

Wild Barts Can't Be Broken (1999)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Todd Flanders, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Lewis

Quotes 

• Lisa Simpson : It's not fair. Adults always blame kids for everything.

  Homer Simpson : Well, if kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting childish, kidnapping, child abuse.

  Bart : What about adultery?

  Homer Simpson : Not until you're older, Son.

• Bart : [In a creepy English accent]  Join us tomorrow and everyday until the curfew is lifted as we'll be revealing embarrassing secrets about Springfield's other adults.

  Homer : Well, at least they've already done me.

  Bart : [In the same accent]  And we have plenty more on Homer Simpson.

  Homer : D'oh!

• Nelson Muntz : I'm breaking curfew, Mom.

  Nelson's Mom : [off-screen]  We're out of Skoal!

• Bart : The cops can't just slap a curfew on us. We have rights!

  Marge Simpson : Sure you do. You have the right to remain silent!

  [she and Homer laugh] 

  Homer Simpson : That was cold blooded, Marge.

• Man #1 : [while Bart and Lisa are watching TV]  You robbed me of my manhood!

  Woman : That's petty theft.

  [the studio audience makes a "woo" sound and another man pops up from behind the couch] 

  Man #2 in 'Don't Go There!' : Don't go there!

  [the studio audience laughs] 

  TV Announcer : Don't Go There will be right back.

  Bart : [while aiming a bowling ball towards the TV]  Oh, no, it won't.

• Nelson Muntz : Adults blow.

  Bart : Yeah, just look at them over there.

  [scene shows Principal Skinner, Mrs. Krabappel and Ms. Hoover standing in the playground] 

  Milhouse Van Houten : Smoking their cigarettes.

  Lisa Simpson : Drinking their coffee.

  Bart : Scratching their big butts.

  Principal Skinner : [to Bart]  Your metabolism will change someday too, young man.

  [awkwardly walks backward] 

• Milhouse Van Houten : Man, if we had eye power like those kids in that movie, we could read the adults' minds and tell their secrets and make them pitchfork each other and junk!

  [laughs] 

  Lisa Simpson : Wait! We don't need supernatural powers. We already know their secrets.

  Bart : She's right! Homer's done a ton of crap that never made the papers.

  Martin Prince : My mom shoplifts all the time. Stuff she doesn't even need.

  Nelson Muntz : My dad gets in car accidents on purpose.

  Lisa Simpson : [as she writes down everyone's ideas on a notepad]  Great! This is all gold.

  Milhouse Van Houten : We gotta spread this stuff around. Let's put it on the Internet!

  Lisa Simpson : No! We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter! And I think I know how.

• Homer Simpson : [after a baseball game]  So who won, the losers?

  Bart : No, they lost.

  Homer Simpson : Heh heh heh heh, losers...

• Nelson Muntz : Adults you strut around like your farts don't stink.