Sledge Hammer! (TV Series)

Hammer Gets Nailed (1986)

Harrison Page: Captain Trunk

Quotes 

• bystanders : [standing outside clock shop while Hammer defuses a bomb]  Go! Hammer, Go! Go! Hammer, Go!

  Officers : [watching TV at precinct]  Go! Hammer, Go! Go! Hammer, Go!

  Captain Trunk : [watching TV in office]  Go! Bomb, Go!

• Captain Trunk : Hammer, I got a problem. Do you know a reporter named Phil Gum from Action News?

  Sledge Hammer : I don't watch the news. I make it.

  Captain Trunk : He wants to ride along with one of us... for one day.

  Sledge Hammer : So what's the problem?

  Captain Trunk : He chose you!

  Sledge Hammer : Why me?

  Captain Trunk : Because, Hammer, on paper, you have a perfect arrest record. You have put over a thousand men behind bars. God knows if any of them are guilty of anything!

  Sledge Hammer : They look guilty to me.

  Captain Trunk : Hammer, you don't seem to understand the point of my dilemma. I've been fighting with city hall for over two months now. They're talking about making cutbacks! The mayor is threatening this entire department! Do you understand what I'm saying?

  Sledge Hammer : You want me to kill the mayor?

  Captain Trunk : No! I'm saying this report will help us or hurt us. It could be good PR or bad PR. I'm ordering you to act responsibly!

  Sledge Hammer : Don't worry captain. Me and my one-man band will give them a little wholesome family entertainment!

  Captain Trunk : Hammer, put that gun away.

  [Hammer does] 

  Captain Trunk : NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

• [after being suspended from duty, Hammer saves the day by defusing a bomb. Captain Trunk reluctantly welcomes him back to the force] 

  Captain Trunk : I hate to say it, but it's good to have you on the force.

  [they shake hands] 

  Sledge Hammer : Thank you, Captain.

  Captain Trunk : And if there's ever anything I can do for you, please tell me.

  Sledge Hammer : Oh, no.

  [pause] 

  Sledge Hammer : Well, there is one... no, it's... well, I mean, I've always wanted to do it, but it takes two people.

  Captain Trunk : This does not involve a gun, does it?

  Sledge Hammer : [laughing]  No, no!

  [Cut to Later: Hammer raises a kiddie's bow-and-arrow set, while Captain Trunk places an apple on his head]