Sledge Hammer! (TV Series)
State of Sledge (1987)
Tom Henschel: Inspector Perkins
Quotes
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Inspector Perkins : [Angrily throws personnel file in front of Sledge] Look at this! You ran a counterfeiter through his own printing press. He was almost killed!
Sledge Hammer : Yeah, but he looked like a million bucks.
Inspector Perkins : You have violated twenty-five of the twenty-six amendments to the Constitution!
Sledge Hammer : I missed one?
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[an inspector from Internal Affairs reviews Hammer's file]
Inspector Perkins : We're going to talk to that suspect you've just arrested! I want to see if he wants to file a formal complaint against you.
[Down in the jail:]
Inspector Perkins : Mr. Slag, I want to know if Inspector Hammer has mistreated you in any way.
[Slag holds up his hands, which are shackled]
Inspector Perkins : What are these? Are these shackles really necessary?
Sledge Hammer : I'm just trying to make his stay in Hotel Hammer a little more uncomfortable.
Inspector Perkins : Remove these shackles.
Sledge Hammer : You don't want me to remove them.
Inspector Perkins : Inspector Hammer!
[Slag smirks and holds up his hands. Hammer sighs and unlocks the shackles]
Inspector Perkins : There. Does that feel better, Slag?
[Slag immediately starts throttling Perkins. As he chokes and gasps, Hammer stands by calmly]
Sledge Hammer : Just, uh, tell me if you want me to help you. You know, just say, "help me, Hammer" and I'll...
[He leans forward, as though trying to hear]
Inspector Perkins : [manages to croak] Help.
[Hammer nods and draws his gun]
Sledge Hammer : All right, heel, ratboy.
[Slag drops Perkins, and shrugs innocently]
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Captain Trunk : Hammer, this is Inspector Perkins from Internal Affairs!
Sledge Hammer : A cop who busts cops, huh?
Inspector Perkins : Does he work here?
Dori Doreau : This is Inspector Sledge Hammer.
Inspector Perkins : I don't recall seeing that name. Who is this man you're so clearly abusing?
Slag : The name is Slag.
Sledge Hammer : Slag. This rodent is the leader of a bloodthirsty cult of Satan worshippers. And so far, I like him better than I like you.