- Inspector Perkins: [Angrily throws personnel file in front of Sledge] Look at this! You ran a counterfeiter through his own printing press. He was almost killed!
- Sledge Hammer: Yeah, but he looked like a million bucks.
- Inspector Perkins: You have violated twenty-five of the twenty-six amendments to the Constitution!
- Sledge Hammer: I missed one?
- [an inspector from Internal Affairs reviews Hammer's file]
- Inspector Perkins: We're going to talk to that suspect you've just arrested! I want to see if he wants to file a formal complaint against you.
- [Down in the jail:]
- Inspector Perkins: Mr. Slag, I want to know if Inspector Hammer has mistreated you in any way.
- [Slag holds up his hands, which are shackled]
- Inspector Perkins: What are these? Are these shackles really necessary?
- Sledge Hammer: I'm just trying to make his stay in Hotel Hammer a little more uncomfortable.
- Inspector Perkins: Remove these shackles.
- Sledge Hammer: You don't want me to remove them.
- Inspector Perkins: Inspector Hammer!
- [Slag smirks and holds up his hands. Hammer sighs and unlocks the shackles]
- Inspector Perkins: There. Does that feel better, Slag?
- [Slag immediately starts throttling Perkins. As he chokes and gasps, Hammer stands by calmly]
- Sledge Hammer: Just, uh, tell me if you want me to help you. You know, just say, "help me, Hammer" and I'll...
- [He leans forward, as though trying to hear]
- Inspector Perkins: [manages to croak] Help.
- [Hammer nods and draws his gun]
- Sledge Hammer: All right, heel, ratboy.
- [Slag drops Perkins, and shrugs innocently]
- Sledge Hammer: Who are you?
- Cultist: I'm a soldier of the evil!
- Sledge Hammer: Finally, someone I can talk to! At least I know where he's coming from.
- Sledge Hammer: While you were all playing around on the roof, I made a little run to the arsenal. And now - it's HAMMER TIME!
- Captain Trunk: Hammer, this is Inspector Perkins from Internal Affairs!
- Sledge Hammer: A cop who busts cops, huh?
- Inspector Perkins: Does he work here?
- Dori Doreau: This is Inspector Sledge Hammer.
- Inspector Perkins: I don't recall seeing that name. Who is this man you're so clearly abusing?
- Slag: The name is Slag.
- Sledge Hammer: Slag. This rodent is the leader of a bloodthirsty cult of Satan worshippers. And so far, I like him better than I like you.