- Female Police Officer: Inspector Hammer, they're about to tow your car away.
- Sledge Hammer: What do you mean? It was a legal parking space... after I knocked down the sign.
- Female Police Officer: Well, yes, but you parked on a suspect.
- General Mills: The state won't pay.
- Sledge Hammer: Now that's the kind of government I like. They don't back down. They don't give in to blackmail.
- General Mills: They don't have the money.
- Sledge Hammer: Oh.
- Captain Trunk: So what are we going to do?
- Sledge Hammer: We're going to do nothing, that's what we're going to do. I guarantee you these terrorettes are bluffing.
- General Mills: But what if they're not?
- Sledge Hammer: Well, it won't matter, because we'll all be dead.
- [last lines]
- [while attempting to disarm the nuclear warhead]
- Sledge Hammer: Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
- Captain Trunk: Hammer, I must congratulate you on apprehending those bank robbers. I just can't believe you were able to get them to surrender their weapons by reading aloud from the collected works of Rod McKuen.
- Sledge Hammer: You know, some of them were weeping openly. The truth is, poetry is more effective than tear gas.
- End Title: To be continued - next season?