- General Dimitri Sukitov: Your orders are as follows. Proceed immediately to coordinates K-Y.
- Sergei: [looking at a map] K-Y? But General, this would place us right off the coast of Malibu Adjacent.
- Federov: Well into American waters!
- General Dimitri Sukitov: I have given you K-Y. Now I want deep penetration.
- General Dimitri Sukitov: Soon, comrade, the Chernobyl will fire upon an American ship. Single-handedly, I will reignite the Cold War. When I am finished, the name "Chernobyl" will be synonymous with disaster.
- Kimberlee Clark: Notch, how many men does it take to sail one of these subs?
- Notch Johnson: Okay, Kimberlee, I'll play along. I don't know. How many men does it take to sail one of these subs?
- Kimberlee Clark: No, Notch, I'm saying we have to do something to save them.
- B.J. Cummings: That's the punchline? I don't get it.
- Notch Johnson: If there's one thing that Commies can't resist, it's whores. Dirty, filthy whores. B.J., that Sukitov seemed to like you.
- Kimberlee Clark: Uh, N-Notch, I don't think this is a good idea.
- Notch Johnson: Hold on, Kimberlee, it's not what you think. B.J., I want you to seduce Sukitov. Get all the information out of him you can.
- Kimberlee Clark: T-This is exactly what I was thinking.
- Notch Johnson: Glad to have you on board.