The Sopranos (TV Series)
Army of One (2001)
Edie Falco: Carmela Soprano
Photos
Quotes
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I work hard all day to pay for this six thousand-square foot house, big-screen TVs, food on the table, video games, all kinds of scooters and bicycles, Columbia University, and for what? To come home to this?
A.J. Soprano : Sucks to be you.
[slaps AJ]
Carmela Soprano : [gasps] My God, Tony!
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : There's more where that came from! We're starting a new regime around here!
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while reading through military school brochures during dinner] now this I like, "Highly Structured Environment."
Carmela Soprano : Which one is that?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : H.M.I. Hudson Military Institute: "A Second Century of Excellence."
A.J. Soprano : I never said I was going
Carmela Soprano : We're just looking honey
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : We're looking, and then your going
Carmela Soprano : [Answering the phone when it rang] hello? Oh, hi Marie, no, oh my God. Where's Rosalie?
Marie : She's right here, she can't come to the phone
Carmela Soprano : Tell her I'll be there as soon as I can
Carmela Soprano : [after hanging up] oh my God
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : What is it?
Carmela Soprano : Jackie Jr. was shot to death in the Boonton projects by drug dealers.
Carmela Soprano : [while running out the kitchen] I'm going over to Rosalie's
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [to A.J., after Carmella left, implying this is what happens when teenagers don't apply themselves academically and commit crimes] you see?
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Carmela Soprano : [after Tony slapped AJ causing him to run upstairs] The school guidance counselor said this might be a cry for help
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Oh, come on will ya?
Carmela Soprano : She recommended a school in New Brunswick: Bernwod Dei, it's for troubled kids. There's a psychologist right on staff
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : No, no more fuckin schools that coddle him. His going to military school
Carmela Soprano : What?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : That's right I got some brochures
Carmela Soprano : You got school brochures?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah from Janice. She was going to send Harpo there but she didn't have the money and it was too fuckin late
Carmela Soprano : I'm not sending him away
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : We're looking at those brochures!
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [as AJ walks down the stairs in a military uniform] oh, Sgt. Bilko
Carmela Soprano : [Chastising him for teasing AJ] Tony
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Your right. I'm sorry. You shouldn't get too gloomy about this
Carmela Soprano : [Admiring him his appearance] My God Anthony, you know what? You look very handsome
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : She's right. You do
A.J. Soprano : Yeah, right
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Referring to the slang term for the latissimus dorsi muscles] No, I'm serious. Tight suit like that shows off your lats
Carmela Soprano : Put on the hat?
A.J. Soprano : No way
Carmela Soprano : Please? You look so cute at the store
A.J. Soprano : They're not going to sew the hat
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Put the hat on for your mother
A.J. Soprano : No!
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Quickly stands up from the couch] what'd you say?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after AJ put on the hat] Now, look at that. I'm serious you look very impressive
Carmela Soprano : My God, if I wasn't already married
A.J. Soprano : [after looking at himself in the mirror] I look like a total jerk-off
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You do not. What're you crying?
A.J. Soprano : I don't want to go there
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You need toughing up
Carmela Soprano : [while trying to adjust the bottom of his slacks] stand up straight
A.J. Soprano : I'm standing fuckin straight
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Pointing at him] hey, you keep it up God damn it!
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Carmela Soprano : [while arguing on whether to send AJ to military school] to train him to be a professional killer?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Oh, will you stop? Their soldiers and the United States army hardly goes to war anymore
Carmela Soprano : They were marching with rifles Tony
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : They're symbolic
Carmela Soprano : Symbolic of what?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [shouts] respect!
Carmela Soprano : He will be subjected to the discipline of kids hardly older than himself, does that seem smart? Boys his age kill frogs and small animals
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Referring to their neighbor's pet] the Cusamano's Binky? The cherry bomb with the nails, you think that was AJ?
Carmela Soprano : No, that is what I'm trying to tell you. He is still a child, his a normal child, his made some mistakes, and God knows his got a shit load to learn about life. But that does not mean I'm going to let you send him to the type of school whose whole reason for being is to make him follow orders by instilling fear
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : He thinks the world owes him a fuckin living
Carmela Soprano : [Sarcastically] what could given him that bizarre idea?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : We tried it your way for fifteen years now, validating his feelings and that fuckin school did the same thing: and what a surprise, he thinks the world runs on his feelings. Well, his going to learn how to be a man
Carmela Soprano : I will not send him to that place
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Grabbing the pillows from her implying his going to sleep on the couch for the night] oh, fuck that allow me
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Carmela Soprano : Now, you liked Jackie, so you don't want to believe that he did this to himself. So, like a lot of other people, you go around looking for bogeymen to blame - bogeymen with Italian names.
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Carmela Soprano : [after waking her up] Your father and I have to drive AJ up to Hudson Institute for his interview... I would feel better if you were up and moving
Meadow Soprano : Jackie is dead and you perseverate on a secondary school
Carmela Soprano : I was up half the night with Roe and this morning her sister and I made all the funeral arrangements. Your brother doesn't have a school, he can't be allowed to sit around all day to chat on the web with the other dropouts and "flakes"
Meadow Soprano : [referring to Jackie Jr] You know, he's the first person my own age I knew that ever died
Carmela Soprano : He knew all the risks involved
Meadow Soprano : [referring to ecstasy] What, the ex? Half the kids I know take it: You have to get it from someone, it's not something you get killed over
Carmela Soprano : Except that he did
Meadow Soprano : Or not
Carmela Soprano : meaning?
Meadow Soprano : Look at who he grew up with, look at who his father was, look at everybody we know
Carmela Soprano : Let's not get "cute"
Meadow Soprano : [sarcastically] When I'm being "cute", I'll let you know
Carmela Soprano : You liked Jackie, so you don't want to believe that he did this to himself. So, like a lot of other people, you go around looking for bogeymen to blame: bogeymen with Italian names. So, whatever your thinking, you just stop thinking it right now because that is not what happened
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Carmela Soprano : You, ok?
Meadow Soprano : yeah
Carmela Soprano : [driving from Rosalie Aprile's home] You had a few drinks over there: we all could use it
Meadow Soprano : I was thinking before about what you once said how you have to "max out" the good times with the people you love? God, that is so true
Carmela Soprano : Actually, your father said that
Meadow Soprano : Anyway, when you look at how people deal with each other, even families, like Jackie's family
Carmela Soprano : what about them?
Meadow Soprano : They were never there for him. I mean Aunt Roe's sweet but she's like hello? Uncle Jackie? It's narcissistic: they let him do whatever he wants and you'd ask him "Aren't you afraid what your parents are gonna say?" and he would just go " They don't give a shit" but I think it hurts his feelings inside
Carmela Soprano : Well, I'm glad you see
Meadow Soprano : [sarcastically, irritated] Yeah, right, your glad I see? What you take from this is an excuse to get intrusive and controlling: that's not what I'm talking about, Jesus!
Carmela Soprano : What did I say? You are out from under our roof
Meadow Soprano : AJ then, use it against him
Carmela Soprano : against him?
Meadow Soprano : I'm sorry I said anything
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Major Zwingli : I for one think Anthony can greatly benefit from our program which as I candidly told him is very rigorous
Carmela Soprano : I will be very frank with you Major Zwingli, I do not agree with this hard-nosed discipline
Carmela Soprano : Mother's seldom do until he starts opening doors for you and pulling back your chair
Tony Soprano : Now that'd be a miracle, that's something we thought we could hope for
Carmela Soprano : What about creativity Tony? Independent thought?
Major Zwingli : I stressed rather heavily with Anthony notions of duty and group think but I didn't think for now mention the army's motto of today: Be an Army of One
Carmela Soprano : Why be an army at all? How about a veterinarian? Isn't there enough war? Amputees? Horrible displaced...
Tony Soprano : [Interrupts her] his just going to march around a little bit
Major Zwingli : I wouldn't get too hung up on the marching aspect, its part of it but it's nothing compared to the mentoring that comes through small class size, faculty involvement, and dorm life
Carmela Soprano : Well, that sounds wonderful certainly
Major Zwingli : We've created too many options for our kids you can't blame them for being confused and when things go wrong we file them off to the ever burgeoning for profit substance recovery industry
Tony Soprano : This "Army of One" thing, what happens when each army of one decides "fuck it I'm not going over the top of the fox hole" or blew the lieutenant's head off? Because they've been told "be an army of one"
Major Zwingli : I would submit Audie Murphy was an army of one
Carmela Soprano : [to Tony] is that what we're preparing him for? A career in the military?
Tony Soprano : No, no
Major Zwingli : One day at a time