The Sopranos (TV Series)

Guy Walks Into a Psychiatrist's Office (2000)

Karen Giordano: Samantha Martin

Quotes 

• Samantha Martin : [while the realtor shows the inside of Tony's mother's house after it's been vandalized]  I can't show it in this condition

  Tony Soprano : What the hell is this?

  Samantha Martin : There's a high school up the street

  Samantha Martin : [Pointing to the stain on the wall caused by the water damage as Tony and Carmella look]  a sink was left on upstairs: you don't even want to see the toilets

  Samantha Martin : [after her cell phone rings and walks away to answer it]  oh, excuse me

  Tony Soprano : [as he walks over to a broken window]  wait until I catch the kids that did this: break a few windows, they think their Johnny badass. The fuckin jackals

  Carmela Soprano : Will you stop, please? Your sister Barbara and the kids are coming down. You better not be in this mood, and I need you to pick up sausage

  Tony Soprano : [Irritated]  yeah, yeah, yeah, how many pounds? Hot or sweet?

  Carmela Soprano : Don't you act like it's a chore: this party was your idea, you said you were happy Janice was home, and my parents are coming

  Tony Soprano : [Referring to his mother, surprised]  oh, really? What? Now that the dragon lady is gone they'll dwang to set foot in our house?

  Carmela Soprano : She said some horrible things to them over the years

  Tony Soprano : I'm not defending her, she's dead to me

  Carmela Soprano : I'm telling you, you, mope your way through this, I'll cut your throat

  Tony Soprano : What're you talking about mope? I've been in a great mood lately

  Carmela Soprano : [doubting him]  right, I think you need to start therapy again, you're self-medicating, we haven't had sex since...

  Tony Soprano : [interrupts her]  you forget it: no therapy

  Samantha Martin : [walks over to them after finishing her call, to Tony]  you should really take a look at what they did to your mother's bedroom