The Sopranos (TV Series)

Johnny Cakes (2006)

James Gandolfini: Tony Soprano

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tony Soprano : YOU STUPID FUCKIN' MORON! You realized what could have happened to you if we didn't have connections? Some cop goes by the book and they charge you with attempted murder! You hear me! Attempted murder, then what? THEN WHAT?

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : He shot you! Were you just gonna let him fucking get away with it?

  Tony Soprano : I told you that's my business not yours! And what did you do? Nothing! Zero a big fucking jerk-off!

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : FUCK YOU!

  Tony Soprano : I oughta break your fucking neck!

  [Tony grabs him forcingly and lets a sobbing A.J. go] 

  Tony Soprano : Stop cryin'! Stop cryin'!

  [pause for a moment] 

  Tony Soprano : I guess your heart was in the right place A.J. But it's wrong. Come on!

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : What?

  Tony Soprano : It's not in your nature!

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : You don't know me! Alright! You don't know anything about me!

  Tony Soprano : You're a nice guy! And I'm greatful for that!

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : Well you're a fucking hypocrite! Because everytime we watch "Godfather". When Michael Corleone shoots those guys at the restaurant, those assholes who tried to kill his dad. You sit there with your fucking bowl of ice cream and say it's your favorite scene of all time!

• Tony Soprano : [Outside the police station]  Jesus Christ AJ, you make me want to cry, it's a movie you've got to grow up, you're not a little kid anymore, you hear me? You've got to grow up.

• Silvio Dante : [sitting in front of Satriale's]  Jason Masucci was in Tampa visiting his mother: he thought he saw Vito in a Jenny Craig ad, turned out to be some other fat piece of shit

  Christopher Moltisanti : [to Tony, referring to killing Vito]  If that fag ever does come back, you should have Carlo do "it", it'd be "good" with all the crews

  Tony Soprano : [referring to Christopher originally insisted on wanting to kill Vito]  Excuse me? You were all "hot to trot"

  Christopher Moltisanti : Nah, I got enough "complications" in my life: Feds up my ass, for "business" reasons are ok, but for "political correctness"?

  Tony Soprano : [after seeing Julianna Skiff across the street]  whoa, check it out

  Silvio Dante : [referring to having sex with her]  I could do that, no problem

  Christopher Moltisanti : [jokingly]  Wait here, I'll get you a Viagra

  Tony Soprano : Let me tell you something: two months after the shooting, as far as Sinatra was concerned, I didn't even have a hard on" when I woke up in the morning

  Christopher Moltisanti : [to Tony, before Sil gives Christopher the middle finger]  Like Sil

  Silvio Dante : [to Tony]  The bullet didn't hit the fuckin "plumbing" though

  Tony Soprano : [crosses himself]  No, thank God. It's just the "effects" of the physical "trauma", doc said it was part of the "healing process", I must be "healed" now because I got a "bagget" in my pants now, twenty four seven

  Silvio Dante : [jokingly]  "Affirmation of life"

• Tony Soprano : Hey, Mrs. Conte. Come stai? How is the hip?

  Mrs. Conte : Hey Anthony, oh I need your help!

  Tony Soprano : What?

  Mrs. Conte : Those Nigger fucking whores, they play that music so loud!

  Tony Soprano : That's not nice. And those are Puerto Ricans.

  Mrs. Conte : I asked them nice to turn it down, they tell me to go fuck myself!

  Tony Soprano : ...I'll see what I can do.

  Mrs. Conte : Thanks.

• Tony Soprano : Your amigos with the baggy pants, I hope you kept them away from the silver

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : Oh, Jesus, their musicians aright? they saw the ad for the drums

  Tony Soprano : You're selling your drums?

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : I need cash, I don't play them anymore

  Carmela Soprano : Those drums were a gift from your father

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : Yeah, I don't wanna sell them, if you guys hadn't made me get such a crappy job, I wouldn't have to

  Carmela Soprano : oh, so this is our fault?

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : I'm wasting my time at Blockbuster

  Tony Soprano : Then get off your ass and get another job

  Carmela Soprano : What about community college? You said were gonna go back to school

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : [irritated, intentionally speaking slowly to belittle them]  Ok, for the hundredth time, I can't register until second semester! I mean, Jesus Christ, I do what you guys want, don't I deserve some kind of life?

• Tony Soprano : [Meeting privately]  what can I do for you Phil?

  Phil Leotardo : Vito, do we know where his at?

  Tony Soprano : Well, that doesn't really concern you, how's John?

  Phil Leotardo : I don't know, fine through his veil of tears. But seriously, Vito, what's being done about it?

  Tony Soprano : Like I just said it's none of your fuckin business because he works for me, not you

  Phil Leotardo : His married to my cousin. He dishonored me personally

  Tony Soprano : What'd you want me to do? Put out an APB because the guy takes it up the ass? It's a victimless crime

  Phil Leotardo : Marie is a victim, her children are victims, and are forced to live with this shame and humiliation. I've got to frank. In your father's day, we wouldn't be having this conversation. A finook in his crew? He knew how to handle it

  Tony Soprano : I sympathize with Marie and the children ok? But don't you fuckin tell me what to do, your only acting boss

  Phil Leotardo : I swallowed my pride when your murdering fuck of a cousin killed my brother, don't think I'm going to do it twice

  Tony Soprano : Phil let's not make a beef where there isn't one. Fundamentally we are in agreement on this issue but I'll handle it

• Tony Soprano : [referring to AJ]  the kid spends every fuckin night in some club in New York, sleeps until noon, puts in a couple hours at Blockbuster and that's it. Since my injury like I told you I've been "perceptive". Be grateful for what you've got, but maybe that's wrong, maybe I should be on the kid. My dad would've kicked my lazy ass out of the house.

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Really?

  Tony Soprano : [Referring to Tony's father committing that act when someone couldn't pay the debt back the debt to Tony's father]  it's the chopping off of the guy's finger right? I never should've told you that because that's all you fixate on with him.

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Can you emphasize with AJ at that age?

  Tony Soprano : Yeah I had some problems at school but I didn't vegetate

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : These are different times, young people are bombarded with so much information and so much input of every kind, consequently true adulthood is delayed. Sociologists say the new 26 is in fact the new 21

  Tony Soprano : And the new 26 is what? I'm 46 so that means I'm 35?

• Tony Soprano : It's like a "bad smell", in the house: it's always "hanging there", the "odor" is no good for me and Carmela and arguing with AJ is no kind of aphrodisiac, I'll tell you that

  Tony Soprano : [when she doesn't respond]  Just when I was beginning to feel physically good again like my own self

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Good, I see

  Tony Soprano : [referring to having an extra marital affair]  But honestly though, no one could blame a man for seeking an extra-curricular outlet in a situation like this

  Tony Soprano : [when she doesn't verbally respond]  Don't give me that look: you're always telling me I'm "projecting", now your "projecting"

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : So, you're not seeking an extra-curricular outlet?

  Tony Soprano : [adamantly]  No, I was just being theoretical: what Carmela did for me when I was hurt, the way she took care of me, nursed me back to health. You think I'm gonna fuckin betray that?

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Is it possible on some level you blame her for AJ's problems?

  Tony Soprano : I don't know... no. Carmela's a good mother: she did her best. Could you just give me some practical advice? For once? Tell me what the fuck to do with my son?

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Well, I think it's entirely appropriate for you and Carmela to tell AJ you have certain expectations of him. Particularly, since his living in your home, the most important thing is that you and Carmela are in agreement on the issues. That you don't undercut each other or act at cross purposes

• Julianna Skiff : [talking privately inside Satriale's]  You own the building at 217 Franklin, right around the corner currently occupied by Caputo Live Poultry. I represent the Jamba Juice company, their interested in purchasing the property

  Tony Soprano : [surprised]  Jamba Juice, wants to put in a store around here.

  Julianna Skiff : You must've noticed, the area's on an upswing. You know the old glove factory? Across the park over by the cathedral? Beautiful renovation. I just bought a loft there myself

  Tony Soprano : a person like yourself is a wonderful addition to the neighborhood

  Julianna Skiff : Jamba Juice is willing to pay a hundred and seventy-five dollars a square foot: public records show the building is eighteen hundred square feet so that makes the purchase price three hundred and fifteen thousand dollars

  Tony Soprano : You ever buy eggs from Caputo?

  Julianna Skiff : [shakes her head]  frankly, I'm not wild about the smell in there

  Tony Soprano : Let me tell you, his eggs taste ten times better than the ones you get at the supermarket, chickens too

  Julianna Skiff : well, businesses relocate all the time

  Tony Soprano : [after thinking it over]  it'll be a real loss for the neighborhood

  Julianna Skiff : Don't you live out in North Caldwell?

  Tony Soprano : yeah, my family made the trip up "guinea gulch," Bloomfield Avenue: my roots here go way back. My grandfather came from Avellino, like most of the people around here

  Tony Soprano : [points to across the street]  I grew up right over there, my father was an early community leader

  Julianna Skiff : uh huh

  Tony Soprano : How about you, where you from?

  Julianna Skiff : Upstate New York, Binghamton

  Tony Soprano : How'd you wind up here?

  Julianna Skiff : My parents have a catering business, something to leave the kids right? Only, I didn't see myself making Salisbury Steak for the next thirty years, so I left home at seventeen

  Tony Soprano : oh, rebellious

  Julianna Skiff : [referring to the real estate deal]  Just a low tolerance for... boredom. So, interested? Or not interested?

  Tony Soprano : I'm interested but as far as the property is concerned, one seventy-five a square foot is a little low and I don't wanna sell from under the guy