The Sopranos (TV Series)

Sentimental Education (2004)

Edie Falco: Carmela Soprano

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Quotes 

• Carmela Soprano : The funny thing is, I was sure he was gay. He sort of reminded me of you.

• Carmela Soprano : How are you? Everything ok?

  Tony Soprano : [Showing her his school assignment]  AJ left this in his room. I thought he might need it to turn in

  Carmela Soprano : [after reading the name on the paper]  did you even look at this? Who the hell is Anne Dunmn?

  Tony Soprano : How should I know?

  Carmela Soprano : Well, she's obviously some girl who was an expert on Lord of the Flies three years ago. This is an A+ paper

  Tony Soprano : Since when do you eat duck?

  Carmela Soprano : I can't believe he would do this

  Tony Soprano : Neither could I, considering how tight he is with money

  Carmela Soprano : That's not what I meant. What? You think he bought this? God damn it

  Carmela Soprano : [after answering the phone]  hello?

  Robert Wegler : I was just laying here thinking about you. What're you wearing?

  Carmela Soprano : [Trying to hide her affair with AJ's teacher from Tony by talking casually]  yes hello Mr. Wegler, I'm afraid now's not a good time

  Robert Wegler : I'm serious, I want to know

  Carmela Soprano : [Attempting to end the conversation]  Well yes thank you very much. I will make sure he brings it in, ok goodbye Mr. Wegler

  Robert Wegler : I made reservation at that crab place down by the shore: dinner and a little night swimming

  Carmela Soprano : [Before hanging up]  Right, ok thank you

  Tony Soprano : What'd that fag want?

  Carmela Soprano : Jesus Christ Tony, everybody's a fag to you. Maybe your a fag? You ever think about that?

  Tony Soprano : Could I help it if I know one when I see one?

  Carmela Soprano : Oh really? What're the signs? Education? Culture?

  Tony Soprano : Suckin a guy's cock usually tips me off

  Carmela Soprano : How do you know who sucks whose cock? What? You got a little secret? And what'd you care if somebody's gay? Must be some big fear of yours or you wouldn't talk about it so much

• Tony Soprano : [to Carmela, referring to AJ]  I laid it out for him: if he wants to move back here, it's gotta be with your full approval

  Carmela Soprano : [to AJ]  this was your idea?

  A.J. Soprano : it was mutual

  Tony Soprano : His upset because he don't get the kind of cereal he likes

  A.J. Soprano : He threw it in the sink, how am I supposed to focus at school with no breakfast? I got dizzy

  Carmela Soprano : I'm sorry, I don't see why the two of you can't work this out between yourselves

  A.J. Soprano : Maybe I don't want to live in a place where people use violence against children?

  Tony Soprano : Violence? You're lucky I didn't put my shoe up your ass

  A.J. Soprano : [to his mother]  You, see? That's abuse, I know what my rights are, I can call Social Services and they'll send a case worker

  Tony Soprano : go ahead, you'll get the other shoe! This is demoralizing

  Carmela Soprano : [to Tony]  Now you see...

  Tony Soprano : [interrupts her]  That a son of mine would even consider calling in the authorities

  Tony Soprano : [irritated, to AJ]  Go ahead, live with your mother

  Meadow Soprano : [walking past them, jokingly]  Family meeting? Try and stay awake AJ

  Tony Soprano : Keep walking

  A.J. Soprano : [to his mother]  I just want my old room back

  Carmela Soprano : You wanted to live with your father: live with your decision

  A.J. Soprano : I don't like it there

  Carmela Soprano : That's funny, I thought I was the problem? I make you miserable, remember?

  A.J. Soprano : I never said that

  Carmela Soprano : You did

  Tony Soprano : absolutely

  Carmela Soprano : [after thinking it over]  For me to even consider having you back, we're going to establish some non-negotiable ground rules

  A.J. Soprano : What kind?

  Tony Soprano : Let your mother talk

  Carmela Soprano : First and foremost, school comes first: that means putting the brakes on your social life. Parties, phone calls, Devin, you are at a crisis point grade-wise. So, you will make sure your schoolwork is done on time and correctly

  A.J. Soprano : Alright

  Carmela Soprano : I will not tolerate cursing

  A.J. Soprano : after sixteen years of potty mouth from you people, I get slammed?

  Carmela Soprano : This is my house: you will treat me with respect

  A.J. Soprano : Is that it?

  Carmela Soprano : I want you to involve me in your life a little

  A.J. Soprano : [after thinking it over]  Fine

  Tony Soprano : Alright, go get your stuff in the car

• Robert Wegler : [after having sex]  What's the matter?

  Carmela Soprano : I don't know. I just keep thinking about AJ and that girl's paper

  Robert Wegler : Oh, it's a pretty common thing, really. Honestly, the important thing is you took a stand: a lot of parents take it in stride and condone it

  Carmela Soprano : It's not just the cheating, you know, it's just not like him. His always done his work, poorly a lot of the time and late but he always did it, he never cheated

  Robert Wegler : Oh, wait, didn't I read somewhere in his record that he stole a test at Verbum Dei?

  Carmela Soprano : No, please, no, he was just acting out, he was with the bad crowd. They were to vandalize the science lab but it was locked, so they stole some tests

  Robert Wegler : I was a late bloomer too, Union College took a chance on me because they saw that I had potential but I wasn't that mature. That's all this is, AJ's just fighting to keep pace with the kids who's seeing further ahead

  Carmela Soprano : if you ask me, I think he was driven to cheating. Mr. Fiske, he is ridiculous with the pressure. I mean how hopeless would you feel if you worked so hard on something and still got a D?

  Robert Wegler : I've been there, worrying doesn't help, I promise

• Father Phil Intintola : [while writing in his notes during dinner, planning a charity event]  I suppose I could speak with Monsignor Bava, have him call his nephew at K-Mart?

  Carmela Soprano : that'll fix us in the Huggies department

  Father Phil Intintola : [referring to the verse Matthew 25:35-36 in the Bible]  well, the diaper drive covers "Clothe the Naked." What'd you say we work on "Feed the hungry"?

  Carmela Soprano : [referring to their meals]  this looks delicious

  Father Phil Intintola : thanks for inviting me: pleasant surprise indeed. So, how goes life these days?

  Carmela Soprano : [referring to Robert Wegler]  actually, I think I met somebody

  Father Phil Intintola : [surprised]  really?

  Carmela Soprano : it just kind of happened. We had been working on this "project" together... and suddenly we both realized there were certain feelings. I like him too as a person too, don't get me wrong. The funny thing is, I was sure he was gay. He sort of reminded me of you. I mean his an intellectual, you know what I mean. Anyway, we've been friends I guess, and then he called me to ask me out and suddenly all the formality dropped away, when I saw him the other day, he looked at me with this intensity. Now I know it's wrong, but the truth is I feel it too

  Father Phil Intintola : you know if you really wanted to discuss this, I think we should include Tony in the conversation as well

  Carmela Soprano : why are you sounding I don't know... kind of "hostile"?

  Father Phil Intintola : I'm not, perhaps that's your sin talking?

  Carmela Soprano : this is not Tony's business. Who knows what he's been up to? And not just during the separation either

  Father Phil Intintola : that doesn't change the fact that you made a commitment to each other before God

  Carmela Soprano : [irritated]  well, maybe you should send the paperwork to Tony and remind him of that? Why am I the only one held to any kind of standard? For that matter, if this is "wrong", why did God put this man in my life?

  Father Phil Intintola : is it God put him there or is there a particular "need" you have right now?

  Carmela Soprano : [rolls her eyes]  see, this is what I don't understand, didn't He put the "need" there?

• Robert Wegler : [after she enters his office]  I hate to call you in but I got his midterm report from Mr. Fiske, Anthony's English teacher, and it doesn't hit the mail for a few days and I thought we'd maybe get a jump on it and revert and real crisis?

  Carmela Soprano : [sarcastically, while looking at the report]  wonderful, another crisis

  Robert Wegler : his still well below the C average he needs for the college we discussed: there is also an issue with his five-paragraph essay

  Carmela Soprano : [referring to the topic of the essay]  animal farm?

  Robert Wegler : [nods]  Anthony submitted his one-line topic and then two drafts. The first was apparently "sketchy", second Fiske said was " suspicious", cogent: plagiarism

  Carmela Soprano : [surprised]  he thinks my son cheated?

  Carmela Soprano : [sternly]  he spent almost an entire Saturday afternoon at the library. I think it's obvious what's going on here

  Robert Wegler : what'd you mean?

  Carmela Soprano : anyone else shows "sudden" improvement gets a gold star: my son gets his act together and "suddenly" he's a cheater? I know what people think, Italian American, father in the "carting" industry...

  Robert Wegler : [interrupts her]  are you suggesting some sort of bias? Because that's a very serious charge

  Carmela Soprano : I have met this Mr. Fiske, he is a "cold fish", couldn't you or one of the other teachers talk to him and tell him how hard AJ's trying?

  Robert Wegler : nothing will make a better argument than continued effort on AJ's part but hey, there's still a shot. This semester's grade is heavily weighted on their term paper on "Lord of the Flies"

  Carmela Soprano : my stomach is in knots

  Robert Wegler : that's why I thought it was important for you come in: it did take me an hour to decide what to wear

  Carmela Soprano : [blushes]  me too

  Robert Wegler : does that mean you thought about my dinner offer?

  Carmela Soprano : I probably shouldn't say this but I thought about nothing else since you called

  Robert Wegler : well, we can't do any justice discussing Madame Bovary over the phone

  Carmela Soprano : that's the thing though: that book was "way over my head"

  Carmela Soprano : [after he chuckles]  why would you be even interested in someone like me?

  Robert Wegler : because of just that. I mean who would miss this stuff? Not only are you very attractive, you are unpretentious, you say what's on your mind

  Carmela Soprano : that's not a big analysis, I could see how that would attract a man like you

  Robert Wegler : so, should we grab a meal, or not?

  Carmela Soprano : well, there are other things to think about: my husband for one

  Robert Wegler : your husband's gonna have to get used to the idea that "your life" is moving on

  Carmela Soprano : I'm not worried about "my life"

  Robert Wegler : [realizing their how them dating would harm him]  oh, you know what? Call me naïve but in this day in age, I really don't think your husband, "if" he found out... is gonna break his son's teacher's legs, not to mention how that would play out in the Admissions Office at Arizona State