The Sopranos (TV Series)

The Weight (2002)

James Gandolfini: Tony Soprano

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Quotes 

• Tony Soprano : Twenty years I've been friends with John. Now he's gotta go.

  Christopher Moltisanti : All over a stupid joke.

  Ralph Cifaretto : [to Silvo, Christopher and Tony]  I was fuckin' around for chrissakes! You never made a joke about Ginny Sack?

  Tony Soprano : Of course not.

  Silvio Dante : No, never.

  Christopher Moltisanti : Not like that.

  Ralph Cifaretto : Yeah, well fuck him and his highfalutin bullshit. Who does he think he is, Sir Walter Raleigh?

  Tony Soprano : That's enough of you and your stupid fucking remarks! Go back to Miami and play volleyball, or whatever the fuck it is you do down there, while we clean up your fucking mess! Maybe, even keep your ass alive.

• Christopher Moltisanti : Wait a minute. What's if Vesuvio's bugged, and the fuckin' Feds told Johnny?

  Silvio Dante : Conspiracy theories now?

  Christopher Moltisanti : Why not? Create a little dysentery among the ranks.

  Tony Soprano : First of all, the place is swept once a week. Second of all, what the Feds want is a lot more interesting shit that's being talked about in there besides Ginny Sack's fat ass.

• Junior Soprano : [During a sit down meeting over the speakerphone]  Ralph insulted John's wife?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : That's correct

  Junior Soprano : What did he do exactly?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : He made a very hurtful remark that's not worth repeating

  Silvio Dante : Let's point out too it's only been "alleged" on what he said

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : He "allegedly" said what he said to a group of people: "friends of ours"

  Junior Soprano : If you weren't there how do you know it's true?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : I'm not at liberty to say

  Tony Soprano : With all due respect but this is bullshit somebody in my family is talking out of school and you don't have the liberty to who? I should be making the beef here

  Junior Soprano : My nephew's right

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : I want to average her honor, this is my right to do

  Tony Soprano : Alright fine you bring in here who ever told you, if he collaborates with what you're saying I'll give you ralph on a platter

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : Is nothing scared? What happened to this thing? If this was years ago would I even have to ask? We bend more rules than the Catholic Church

  Tony Soprano : Let's just say for the of argument ralph said what he said is clipping him going to un-ring that bell?

  Carmine Lupertazzi : Nobody's getting clipped

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : I want satisfaction

  Silvio Dante : Will you accept an apology?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : That ship that has sailed

  Carmine Lupertazzi : Your being unreasonable John

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : Ralph's the only one who can handle the Esplanade? Put the other guy in

  Carmine Lupertazzi : There's millions of dollars are at stake

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : Again with the money?

  Carmine Lupertazzi : Yeah, again with the money, it's settled name a price or the fuck over it

  [John leaves] 

• Junior Soprano : A mole on her ass? What's the joke? I still don't get it

  Tony Soprano : It's not a joke per se, it's... you had to be there

  Junior Soprano : A real lack of standards your generation. In my day John would be right, a man would never be expected to stand for a remark like that

  Tony Soprano : The fucked up thing is I don't even like Ralph, if he was drowning I'd throw him a cinder block, but not protect one of my own captains? Besides its too late now anyway, Carmine gave me the nod

  Junior Soprano : [While watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire]  On Johnny? That was a slippery fuck huh? Him and those big fish lips of his? Look at this: The fifth question and the poor prick used all of his life lines

  Tony Soprano : John goes, Carmine's going to put himself in a position of maximum deniability

  Junior Soprano : So, you make it easy for everybody, take it out of the neighborhood

  Tony Soprano : Like an accident?

  Junior Soprano : [Listing the causes that can kill John]  accident, stick up, he can choke on a chicken wing. The important thing: Johnny disappears

  Tony Soprano : Johnny out, Carmine's going to put his son in there, fuckin brain-less the second, who knows? Maybe there's an upside of Johnny going. He goes to Boston a lot to visit his father. It could happen up there

  Junior Soprano : You want my advice? You'll call Lou DiMaggio, the Atwell Avenue Boys.

  Tony Soprano : What? Those sick old fucks in Rhode Island?

  Junior Soprano : They may be old my little nephew but those dogs can still hunt

  Tony Soprano : My old man used to talk about them, something to do with drugs

  Junior Soprano : Heroin back in the fifties it was raining cash with that shit. DiMaggio and his crew never saw a dime. A guy they worked for Lenny Caputo, he didn't believe in it. For fifteen years everyone and their mother was getting rich dealing H. Everyone except these guys. Their eking a living doing hits, running swag, anyway low and behold, one day Lenny get pinched for heroin trafficking. Turns out, the cock sucker was making a fortune working with the mulligan and not only that his been selling out his own guys to the Feds so he can keep his ass out on the street. DiMaggio and another guy on his crew did eight years on a murder rap

  Tony Soprano : So much for loyalty huh?

  Junior Soprano : You go to Rhode Island whatever you do, don't mention drugs: coke, heroin not even Tylenol

  Tony Soprano : So, what happened to this Lenny prick?

  Junior Soprano : [Smiles]  Lou 'DiMaggio, his real name's Galina. They started calling him Lou 'DiMaggio, after the cops found Lenny and his wife's with their heads bashed in by a baseball bat. Anyway that was Lou when he still had his health

• Carmine Lupertazzi : [on the phone]  I took John to dinner last night. Ralph's got a big problem, kid.

  Tony Soprano : I thought you squashed it.

  Carmine Lupertazzi : I did. Problem is, I don't know if John's hearing me.

  Tony Soprano : So, what are you gonna do about it?

  Carmine Lupertazzi : Me? Nothing.

  Tony Soprano : What does that mean?

  Carmine Lupertazzi : I didn't say nothing. We share the Esplanade, Tony. I don't want that apple cart upset.

  Tony Soprano : Yeah, then somebody should do something about it.

  Carmine Lupertazzi : I appreciate your thoughts.

  Tony Soprano : [after a long pause]  You saying what I think you're saying?

  Carmine Lupertazzi : I didn't say nothing.

  [pause] 

  Carmine Lupertazzi : All right then, I'll talk to you.

• Tony Soprano : You wanted to see me?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : You can tell Ralph I've decided to accept his apology

  Tony Soprano : That kid you pissed on, Donnie K: his got fuckin nerve damage on his left side

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : I'm sorry Tony

  Tony Soprano : I bet you are

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : I'll expect to hear from Ralph

  Tony Soprano : Why the big reversal all of a sudden?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : No more weight remarks Tony. Their hurtful and their destructive

  Tony Soprano : Oh I agree

• Tony Soprano : [after entering his office]  "Hey", yourself, what the fuck John?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : I got nothing to say

  Tony Soprano : You got nothing to say?

  Tony Soprano : [Referring to Donny K. after John assaulted him]  the fuckin kid is in intensive care

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : I thought he worked for Ralph?

  Tony Soprano : And Ralph works for me, so I ask you again, what the fuck?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : Let's suffice that I know and Carmine knows that "boppy" cocksucker is holding out on us: Fernandez Paving, Ralph's contracting company. My guy went over the receipts for the water proofing at the Esplanade, this fuckin Ralph is more creative than Spielberg. His off almost four grand, third time in a row now. We agreed no looting the job site

  Tony Soprano : First of all, that hasn't been established, second of all, this is how you handle it?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : Consider it a "message."

  Tony Soprano : His in Miami, they got phones down there the last time I checked

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : His got a bad history Tony, cute cocksucker could wind up dead

  Tony Soprano : What're you saying here?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : His a two-faced fuckin prick

  Tony Soprano : I thought Ralph was your friend?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : Right, that's rich, did you hear what my "friend" said about my wife? Made a crack about Ginny's weight, something about her having a ninety pound mole on her ass?

  Tony Soprano : Well, that's deplorable. Who told you this?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : What's important is that it was said

  Tony Soprano : If he did say it, I didn't hear it because he knows better to make a remark like that when I'm around

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : She's fighting a weight problem since the kids were born: Weight Watchers, Richard Simmons, fasting, she works very fuckin hard

  Tony Soprano : You telling me how hard it is?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : It's different for women, body image, and self-esteem. I'll you though, I never had a problem with Ginny's weight: to me she's beautiful. "Rubenesque." That woman is my life. To think she's being mocked

  Tony Soprano : Alright John I'm not going to sit here and deny that Ralph could be a fuckin asshole and that was a horrible thing to say. Well even if it was said, you can't be serious about him winding up you know...

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : She's the mother of my children

  Tony Soprano : I know she is John. I know she is. At least hear Ralph out? How long we go back? All of us?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : The kid last night: he was laughing

  Tony Soprano : About this?

  Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : I don't know

• Tony Soprano : [while visiting her at school]  So, what is this your mother's telling me you're joining the Legal Aid Society?

  Meadow Soprano : [correcting him]  South Bronx Law Center, I'm volunteering: they provide free legal counsel for the indigent and disenfranchised

  Tony Soprano : and this roommate is what? Your first client? What happened to being a pediatrician? That was a great feel for you, the way you love kids

  Meadow Soprano : Nothing happened to it, can I explore some other career options?

  Tony Soprano : Oh, defending fare beaters is a career?

  Meadow Soprano : Is that why you came here? To annoy me?

  Tony Soprano : If you want to help people, that's fine, it's very noble, really, I mean it. Just don't be a sucker, ok? A lot of these people, these indigenous types, they got plenty of money to smoke crack and gamble and all that shit

  Meadow Soprano : You ought to know

  Tony Soprano : Oh, I see, that's what this is, you're working with minorities for getting back at me for being mean to Noah

  Meadow Soprano : [amused]  Listen to you, believe it not, the world does not revolve around you

• Brian Cammarata : the tax purposes the annuity is fine but if I'm hearing you right, liquidity is the real concern?

  Carmela Soprano : [after looking at Tony and he nods]  "occasionally" we need "ready access" to our money

  Brian Cammarata : honestly guys, I'd recommend a life insurance trust that coupled with the growth-oriented allocation of your assets... including an assortment of other investment "vehicles"

  Tony Soprano : [jokingly]  like what? Classic cars?

  Brian Cammarata : no, like stocks, bonds

  Carmela Soprano : I think his "pulling your leg"

  Brian Cammarata : [amused]  I gotta remember that one. So, great, we'll open an account, get the paperwork started and...

  Tony Soprano : [interrupts him]  look, no offense, I know we're family, let me think about it: run it by my accountant

  Carmela Soprano : Ginsberg? He's a CPA, not an investment advisor

  Tony Soprano : well, whatever, he knows about this stuff

  Brian Cammarata : you know what Carm? Talk to your accountant, two heads huh?

• Ralph Cifaretto : [after returning from Miami, handing Tony a bag of oranges as a gift]  For you, Florida's finest

  Tony Soprano : Thanks, how's Donnie K?

  Ralph Cifaretto : I was just asking about that. I've got to get over there: get the full report

  Tony Soprano : Any idea who's writing the family gossip column?

  Ralph Cifaretto : You know funny about that Tone, I don't remember saying anything about Ginny

  Tony Soprano : Come on Ralph, I was sitting right there

  Ralph Cifaretto : Maybe I said something. I forget, there was a lot of wine that night

  Tony Soprano : What about the land deal? Freglinhuysen Avenue, you forget you told him that you, me, and Zellman made all that money?

  Ralph Cifaretto : Did I tell him about it? No but I sure as shit ended up paying for it. When you think about it, Johnny's got some balls, big house, and lining his pockets with our hard-earned cash? Who do you think is keeping that fat bitch eating Devil Dogs anyway?

  Tony Soprano : Whatever he is, his also Carmine's underboss so you're going to placate him

• Tony Soprano : [referring to the paperwork she's working on]  What's all that?

  Carmela Soprano : I'm consolidating some bills

  Carmela Soprano : [after he sighs and shakes his head]  Maybe you don't care about our future, but I do

  Tony Soprano : [referring to Brian Cammarata]  Where'd you get I don't care? I met with your cousin

  Carmela Soprano : Yeah, you met with Brian, you sat there eating cake and making wisecracks

  Tony Soprano : It was boring me, ok?

  Tony Soprano : [when seeing her become emotional]  You gonna cry now? The hell is wrong with you?

  Carmela Soprano : When you ignore me, when you trivialize things that are important to me, like this family's financial security, it makes me feel unloved

  Tony Soprano : [irritated]  Well, that's your problem right there: you equate love with money

  Carmela Soprano : [raises her voice and points to him]  You equate love with money