The Sopranos (TV Series)
Whoever Did This (2002)
Joe Pantoliano: Ralph Cifaretto
Photos
Quotes
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Jesus Christ, you did it. You cooked that fuckin' horse alive!
Ralph Cifaretto : No, I did NOT! But so what?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : So what?
Ralph Cifaretto : It was a fucking animal! A hundred grand a piece! My kid's in a fuckin' hospital! I don't hear you complaining though, when I bring you a nice fat envelope, you don't give a shit where that comes from! Don't give me that look! It was a fucking horse! What are you, a vegetarian? You eat beef and sausage by the cartload!
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Ralph Cifaretto : [Referring to the joke he made about Ginny's weight] it had to be Paulie that told Johnny
Eugene Pontecorvo : You think so?
Ralph Cifaretto : He hates my success. I've been thinking about that birthday dinner, who was there when I told the Ginny Sack joke?
Vito Spatafore : Not Paulie, I remember Albert say he didn't get a gift
Ralph Cifaretto : It was little Paulie, the witless fuckin nephew, he told Paulie, Paulie tells Johnny fuckin telephone games like fuckin high school girls. Want to play phone games? That party was the only time I mentioned Shamu's fat ass
Ralph Cifaretto : [to the operator over the phone] hello, Green Grove retirement home or something, just connect me
Eugene Pontecorvo : The fuck you doing?
Ralph Cifaretto : Hello, I'd like to talk to a Nucci" Gualtieri, she's a resident there
Nucci Gualtieri : [after being woken up] hello?
Ralph Cifaretto : Mrs. Nucci Gualtieri?
Nucci Gualtieri : Yes
Ralph Cifaretto : [Prank calling Paulie's mother] Hi, this is detective Mike Hunt Pennsylvania Police Department you have a son Peter Paul?
Nucci Gualtieri : Oh my God what happened?
Ralph Cifaretto : His alright ma'am but I'm afraid his in a little trouble. We found him in a men's room in Lafayette Park, I don't know how to put this delicately, he was sucking a cub scout's dick
Nucci Gualtieri : What? No, it's a mistake
Ralph Cifaretto : Ma'am, I wish that was all but I'm afraid we had to have emergency surgery performed upon arrival at headquarters after discovering a small rodent in the rectal passage
Nucci Gualtieri : Oh my God
Ralph Cifaretto : A gerbil ma'am. The county does not cover procedures deemed caused by sexual activity section four, paragraph fifteen, we'll need an insurance number
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I was just down at the stables. I got some bad news: Pie-o-My, she was in a fire. She's dead
Ralph Cifaretto : Wow, oh Jesus. That's why Lois called me and left four messages on the machine
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Three other horses too
Ralph Cifaretto : Jesus, oh Tone I just made some coffee and eggs
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Sorry about the timing
Ralph Cifaretto : [Referring to his son's accident] oh no, actually I got some good news on Justin. They think it'll just be speech. Poor kid will have to learn how to talk all over again, and years of rehab
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : That's good
Ralph Cifaretto : Walk and use his hands. Life goes on huh? One day at a time
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Lois said the horse was still alive. It was burnt so bad, they had to put it out of its misery
Ralph Cifaretto : I don't even want to think about it
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : At this point, the fire Marshall said it looks "accidental."
Ralph Cifaretto : What sick fuck would do something like that on purpose huh?
Ralph Cifaretto : [while making breakfast eggs] you know I was telling Justin's mother sour cream is the secret ingredient
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Right, what sick fuck?
Ralph Cifaretto : What?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It's funny about God, fate, and shit like that. The horse gets better and we take out two hundred grand insurance in the race coming up. Suddenly there's a fire
Ralph Cifaretto : What're you saying? You think I had something to do with it?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I didn't
Ralph Cifaretto : Anthony, what're you a horse investigator now? Come on, they said it was an accident, right?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You know what? Maybe I will have some eggs
Ralph Cifaretto : Toast?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah. How's Corky Ianucci? You heard from him lately? You know Sil used him in the restaurant fire: excellent work
Ralph Cifaretto : You know, I don't understand you Anthony. We got lucky. That accidental fire was a bolt from beyond. The horse was no fuckin good with the colic all the time, and the fuckin bills
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : What're you talking about? She bounced back
Ralph Cifaretto : This time, but each time it takes something out of him. It was all downhill from here. Now, I know it's tragic to think this way but you can't argue with the fuckin logic
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Rosalie Aprile : [while visiting Ralph's son Justin in the hospital] I didn't know if I should come
Ralph Cifaretto : I'm just happy to see you
Rosalie Aprile : How is he?
Ralph Cifaretto : Not as good as yesterday
Rosalie Aprile : How are you?
Ralph Cifaretto : I just didn't understand what you were going through, I didn't know anything... I was stupid, I'm sorry, I apologize
Rosalie Aprile : It's ok, I mean there's no way to know what it's like until it happens to you
Ralph Cifaretto : You were so strong when Jackie Jr. passed away, I don't know how you did it
Rosalie Aprile : [hugs him] Justin's gonna be alright: you'll see, his gonna be fine
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Ralph Cifaretto : Pleased to meet you
Father Phil Intintola : How are you doing?
Ralph Cifaretto : I feel like such a hypocrite, I haven't been to church in years but we had a Mass for Justin's baptism, look at all the good it did
Father Phil Intintola : Ralph...
Ralph Cifaretto : See? What am I doing here?
Father Phil Intintola : God understands. It's why in times like "these", His the only one we can turn to
Ralph Cifaretto : God? My son's lying in a hospital: hooked up to a machine, he never did nothing to nobody
Father Phil Intintola : Our Lord gave his only begotten son to suffer
Ralph Cifaretto : Nothing compared to this
Father Phil Intintola : Were you there when Jesus Christ's moment in doubt and pain? It's a great mystery to us: as why things happen as they do but God has a plan for all of us
Ralph Cifaretto : I've done things in my life that I shouldn't have done: His making my son pay for it, that's why His punishing me
Father Phil Intintola : God is merciful, He doesn't punish people
Ralph Cifaretto : I would do anything if Justin could walk again
Father Phil Intintola : Justin's in God's hands now and I assure you God loves him very much. Your job for you is to get yourself right with God, for yourself and for your son. Would you like to give a confession?
Ralph Cifaretto : I think... I need a little more time to do a good one, when I'm ready
Father Phil Intintola : I understand
Ralph Cifaretto : Thank you
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Ralph Cifaretto : Can I come in?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while in his office inside the Bada Bing strip club, referring to Ralphie's son's injury] Yeah, how is Justin? Any news?
Ralph Cifaretto : It's the left side of the brain that affects speech: too soon to tell
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Well... sit down, go on, you want something to eat?
Ralph Cifaretto : [before handing him an envelope filled with money] No, I just came by to give you this from that "thing"
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It could've waited
Ralph Cifaretto : I had to smack that guy around this morning
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while counting the money] Good
Ralph Cifaretto : At least I'm good for something, how could I let something like this happen?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It could've... happened to anybody
Ralph Cifaretto : You know where I was on his seventh birthday?
Ralph Cifaretto : [when Tony doesn't respond] Florida: So high on coke, I forgot to call him, then I thought I did?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Well, you cut back on that shit, right?
Ralph Cifaretto : [before crying] I'm a different man: my poor baby, my little boy
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after getting up and sits closer to him, referring to the medical bills] It's covered by the Sheetrock and Plaster Union, right?
Ralph Cifaretto : His covered under his mother's insurance as far as that goes and I'll take care of the rest: whatever it takes... I don't care if it breaks me, get the best care there is
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Listen there's something, look, I don't want you to hear it from the "grapevine", especially now
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [when he doesn't respond] I'm seeing that girl you used to date, Valentina