- Neptune: The accursed stove has burnt my finger.
- [zaps stove]
- Neptune: Feel thine own wrath, stove! Ha ha!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: What did I tell you about using your powers, trainee?
- Neptune: [ashamed] Perfect patties are made with love, not magic.
- Neptune: So, little one? You think you are worthy of being the royal fry cook? I will prove your worthlessness. You shall be tested in a challenge.
- Patrick: Bring it on. SpongeBob can handle any...
- [Neptune zaps him]
- Patrick: Ouch.
- Neptune: Your friend's arrogance will cost you dearly. There will be two challenges.
- Patrick: Only two? What are two challenges to someone like SpongeBob?
- [Neptune zaps him again]
- Neptune: Three challenges!
- Patrick: Three? Ha ha! Three challenges are nothing. It might as well be... five hundred challenges.
- Neptune: Enough!
- [Zaps Patrick]
- Patrick: [Now just a smudge on the ground] We'll settle for one.
- Neptune: There will be but one challenge. You will face me in... the Ultimate Cookoff!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I will accept your challenge, if you fix my friend.
- Neptune: Ah, yes. The round one. I shall restore him.
- [restores Patrick, only he has no face]
- Patrick: SpongeBob? SpongeBob?
- [turns around; his face is on his butt]
- Patrick: SpongeBob? There you are.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: How you feeling?
- Patrick: Pretty good. Say, have you gotten taller?
- Squidward Tentacles: [after Squidward goes too far pulling an April Fools prank on SpongeBob] Where's SpongeBob?
- Patrick: He's in the house. He's impressed.
- Squidward Tentacles: With what?
- Patrick: I don't know, but it must have been pretty good to make him cry like that.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Woo, I'm thirsty.
- [Pulls an enormous pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: This is an extreme thirst.
- [Cut to SpongeBob in front of dozens of glasses of lemonade]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Boy, I can't wait to drink all these drinks. April Fools!
- [Looks in mirror]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: To me.
- Squidward Tentacles: Why is he so happy about?
- [Sees the calendar set on April 1st]
- Squidward Tentacles: Aah! April 1st? April Fools Day is SpongeBob's favorite holiday!
- [Dials phone]
- Squidward Tentacles: Mr. Krabs, I can't come in to work today. I caught something horrible.
- Mr. Krabs: What'd you catch?
- Squidward Tentacles: I caught sight of the calendar.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm not good enough to cook in Atlantis, Patrick. I should've never taken the challenge.
- Patrick: Don't give up on your dream SpongeBob, people used to tell me: "Patrick you'll never amount to anything, you'll always have your head in the clouds." Well, just look at me now!
- [points at his face on his butt]
- Patrick: [the bell rings] Go get em tiger!
- Neptune: This joke has gone on far enough!, where's my fry cook?
- [everyone runs except Patrick]
- Neptune: [pointing at Patrick] Certainly you with your prodigious girth would know how to cook a burger to serve a royal palate!
- [Patrick points at SpongeBob]
- Neptune: What? Am I expected to believe that this creature is royal fry cook material? I don't suppose you have any proof?
- [Patrick shows him the picture he took of SpongeBob holding the royal spatula]
- Neptune: Ha! This thing is unfit to even scrub the royal tail fin! And besides, it's not just enough to pull a spatula from a greasy griddle, there are certain qualities a royal fry cook must have.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Like?
- Neptune: The royal fry cook must be, you know, left-handed.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Actually I've got two
- [shows him his two left hands]
- Neptune: [snaps his fingers as he comes up with another idea] Also the royal fry cook wears red underwear
- [SpongeBob shows him his red underwear]
- Neptune: no blue
- [SpongeBob shows him blue underwear underneath]
- Neptune: The royal fry cook's wallet contains...
- [SpongeBob shows him his wallet]
- Neptune: His big toes...
- [SpongeBob shows him his big toes]
- Neptune: Uh, he has six...
- Patrick: [interrupting him] He is the new royal fry cook and you...
- Neptune: Silence!
- [zaps him]
- Patrick: [charred and smoking] It is hot in here or what?
- [faints]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [gasps] Patrick! You hurt my friend! You're not a king, you're a bully and a liar!