SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)
SpongeBob Meets the Strangler/Pranks a Lot (2004)
Tom Kenny: SpongeBob SquarePants, Narrator, Geek Fish, Poo Fish, Eyeball #1
Quotes
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Bodyguard, let me just take this opportunity to say that you're the best bodyguard a fella could hope to have.
Strangler : Alright, enough of the sappy talk. Open the door so I can strangle you- I mean, uh, uh, choke you, I mean, uh, crush you with my- Gahhhh! I mean...
SpongeBob SquarePants : Protect me?
Strangler : Uh, thanks.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Don't mention it, Strangler.
[He gasps]
SpongeBob SquarePants : I mean, bodyguard.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : So, Patrick's the Strangler? Gee, you think you know a guy.
Strangler : [exploding] He's not the Strangler!
SpongeBob SquarePants : He's not?
Strangler : [rips off his fake mustache] I AM!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Hey, how'd you do that without shaving cream?
Strangler : Oh, it's a FAKE, you idiot! I bought it at the party store!
Squidward Tentacles : [the partygoers suddenly return] Did someone say "party"?
Strangler : AAH!
[crashes through wall]
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[SpongeBob has accidentally jumped into the Strangler's eyesockets]
Strangler : Get your cleats out of my eyesockets!
[SpongeBob tries to pull his leg out of one of the Strangler's sockets]
SpongeBob SquarePants : I'm trying, but my cleats are stuck in your corneas!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Well, let's get started.
[Patrick takes off his shorts]
Patrick Star : OK, I'm ready.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Any particular reason you took your pants off?
Patrick Star : Well, that stuff stains clothes, right?
SpongeBob SquarePants : That it does, Patrick, that it does. Good thinking. Here, hold this a second.
[Patrick takes the can of spray while SpongeBob takes off his pants. Patrick hugs the can]
SpongeBob SquarePants : OK, Patrick, give me the can.
Patrick Star : I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick, spraying the park bench was my idea.
Patrick Star : Yeah, but I said it was a good idea!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Give me that thing.
[SpongeBob grabs the can and he and Patrick wrestle over it. SpongeBob accidentally sprays their clothes and they disappear]
Patrick Star : Hey, the invisible spray works!
[a tour bus drives up]
Tom : And on your right, if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint!
[the passengers and Tom laugh. The bus drives off. SpongeBob covers his lower half]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh my gosh, Patrick, help me find our clothes!
[SpongeBob pats the ground, trying to grab the clothes. Patrick sprays SpongeBob's right hand and it disappears]
Patrick Star : I gotta hand it to you, SpongeBob. You look kinda funny.
[Patrick laughs and SpongeBob screams]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Righty, where are you?
[Patrick laughs again]
SpongeBob SquarePants : No one messes with Righty!
[He takes the spray can with his invisible hand]
SpongeBob SquarePants : We'll see how you like it!
[sprays Patrick making a hole in the middle of his body]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Kind of gives you an empty feeling, huh?
[Patrick takes the can]
Patrick Star : Yeah.
[He sprays SpongeBob's upper left corner, including his eye]
Patrick Star : I see what you mean.
[SpongeBob takes the spray can and sprays Patrick's lower half]
SpongeBob SquarePants : No guts, no glory!
[SpongeBob laughs]
Narrator : Several bad puns later...
[SpongeBob and Patrick are now completely invisible]
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Patrick Star : Hey, SpongeBob, do you know what time it is?
SpongeBob SquarePants : [sarcastically] Oh, sure, it's half past invisible.