- SpongeBob SquarePants: Bodyguard, let me just take this opportunity to say that you're the best bodyguard a fella could hope to have.
- Strangler: Alright, enough of the sappy talk. Open the door so I can strangle you- I mean, uh, uh, choke you, I mean, uh, crush you with my- Gahhhh! I mean...
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Protect me?
- Strangler: Uh, thanks.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Don't mention it, Strangler.
- [He gasps]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I mean, bodyguard.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: So, Patrick's the Strangler? Gee, you think you know a guy.
- Strangler: [exploding] He's not the Strangler!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: He's not?
- Strangler: [rips off his fake mustache] I AM!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, how'd you do that without shaving cream?
- Strangler: Oh, it's a FAKE, you idiot! I bought it at the party store!
- Squidward Tentacles: [the partygoers suddenly return] Did someone say "party"?
- Strangler: AAH!
- [crashes through wall]
- [SpongeBob has accidentally jumped into the Strangler's eyesockets]
- Strangler: Get your cleats out of my eyesockets!
- [SpongeBob tries to pull his leg out of one of the Strangler's sockets]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm trying, but my cleats are stuck in your corneas!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, let's get started.
- [Patrick takes off his shorts]
- Patrick Star: OK, I'm ready.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Any particular reason you took your pants off?
- Patrick Star: Well, that stuff stains clothes, right?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: That it does, Patrick, that it does. Good thinking. Here, hold this a second.
- [Patrick takes the can of spray while SpongeBob takes off his pants. Patrick hugs the can]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: OK, Patrick, give me the can.
- Patrick Star: I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, spraying the park bench was my idea.
- Patrick Star: Yeah, but I said it was a good idea!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Give me that thing.
- [SpongeBob grabs the can and he and Patrick wrestle over it. SpongeBob accidentally sprays their clothes and they disappear]
- Patrick Star: Hey, the invisible spray works!
- [a tour bus drives up]
- Tom: And on your right, if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint!
- [the passengers and Tom laugh. The bus drives off. SpongeBob covers his lower half]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh my gosh, Patrick, help me find our clothes!
- [SpongeBob pats the ground, trying to grab the clothes. Patrick sprays SpongeBob's right hand and it disappears]
- Patrick Star: I gotta hand it to you, SpongeBob. You look kinda funny.
- [Patrick laughs and SpongeBob screams]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Righty, where are you?
- [Patrick laughs again]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No one messes with Righty!
- [He takes the spray can with his invisible hand]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: We'll see how you like it!
- [sprays Patrick making a hole in the middle of his body]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Kind of gives you an empty feeling, huh?
- [Patrick takes the can]
- Patrick Star: Yeah.
- [He sprays SpongeBob's upper left corner, including his eye]
- Patrick Star: I see what you mean.
- [SpongeBob takes the spray can and sprays Patrick's lower half]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No guts, no glory!
- [SpongeBob laughs]
- Narrator: Several bad puns later...
- [SpongeBob and Patrick are now completely invisible]
- Patrick Star: Hey, SpongeBob, do you know what time it is?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [sarcastically] Oh, sure, it's half past invisible.