Star Trek (TV Series)

A Piece of the Action (1968)

Lee Delano: Kalo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Capt. Kirk : The name of the game is called, uh... fizzbin.

  Kalo : Fizzbin?

  Capt. Kirk : Fizzbin. It's, uh... not too difficult.

  Kalo : Mm-hmm.

  Capt. Kirk : Each player gets six cards, except for the dealer, er, the player on the dealer's right, who, er, gets seven.

  Kalo : On the right?

  Capt. Kirk : Yes. The second card is turned up, except on Tuesday.

  Kalo : On Tuesday.

  Capt. Kirk : Mm-hmm.

  Capt. Kirk : [exited]  Ooh, look what you got, two jacks. You got a half fizzbin already!

  Kalo : Hehe! I need another jack.

  Capt. Kirk : No, no. If you got another jack, why, you'd have, er, a sralk.

  Kalo : A sralk?

  Capt. Kirk : Yes. You'd be disqualified.

  Kalo : Oh.

  Capt. Kirk : No, what you need now, is either a king and a deuce, except at night, of course, when you'd need a queen and a, and a four.

  Kalo : Except at night.

  Capt. Kirk : Right. Oh, look at that. You've got another jack!

  [Kalo laughs] 

  Capt. Kirk : How lucky you are! How wonderful for you. Now, if you didn't get another jack, if you'd gotten a king, why, then you'd get another card, except when it's dark, when you'd have to give it back.

  Kalo : If it were dark on Tuesday.

  Capt. Kirk : Yes, but what you're after is a royal fizzbin, but the odds in getting a royal fizzbin are astron... Spock, what are the odds in getting a royal fizzbin?

  Spock : I have never computed them, Captain.

  Capt. Kirk : Well, they're astronomical, believe me.

• Kalo : [pointing a Tommy gun at Kirk. Spock & McCoy]  Okay, you three, let's see you petrify.

  Spock : Sir, would you mind explaining that statement, please?

  Kalo : I wanna see you turn to stone. Put your hands over your head, or you ain't gonna have no head to put your hands over.

• Dr. McCoy : Well, those firearms are not necessary.

  Kalo : You tryin' to make trouble?

  Dr. McCoy : Who, me?

  Kalo : Don't give me those baby blue eyes.

  Dr. McCoy : What?

  Kalo : I don't go for that innocent routine.

• Capt. Kirk : This, uh... this card game is a kid's game.

  Kalo : You think so, huh?

  Capt. Kirk : Oh, yes. Yes. I wouldn't waste my time.

  Kalo : Who's askin' you?

  Capt. Kirk : On, er, Beta Antares IV, they play a real game. It's a man's game, but, of course, probably a little beyond you. It requires intelligence.