- Lauren Miller: Beat it, squirt, and put some clothes on.
- Tina Miller: Shut up, stupid. Mom said to take my clothes off.
- Judy Miller: But, remember, the underwear stays on till after dinner.
- Bill Miller: Same rules as when we were dating.
- Bill Miller: [in response to his son asking for advice on catching a girl's interest] So, what's your plan of action?
- Brian Miller: Well, I've just been helping her with her school work, and carrying her books, listening to her problems...
- Bill Miller: Well, that's all well and good, son, if you wanna become a member of the Never-touch-a-booby tribe.
- Brian Miller: The what?
- Bill Miller: Close the door, son. Help is here.