- Gwen: [after Zack gets the part of Lysander and Gwen gets the part of Hermia] Wait, what part did you get?
- Cody Martin: I got Bottom!
- Bob: That part must stink.
- Cody Martin: Bottom's a donkey.
- Bob: A donkey named Bottom. That must really stink.
- London Tipton: I'm back! Who missed me?
- [Nobody welcomes her]
- London Tipton: I brought presents!
- [Everyone starts welcoming her back]
- Agnes: [to Cody] You like Gwen, and Gwen likes Zack, Zack likes Vanessa, and Vanessa likes you.
- Cody Martin: Exactly.
- Agnes: Well, who likes me?
- Cody Martin: No one.
- Agnes: Hey!
- [hits Cody]
- Cody Martin: And maybe that's why!
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: London, I have a little situation at the candy counter.
- London Tipton: What's the situation?
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: It's outside and I'm freezing to death!
- London Tipton: Well, that's because you've got your summer kimono on, silly.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Why can't I wear my old uniform?
- London Tipton: Because it's in disharmony with the lobby.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm not even in the lobby!
- London Tipton: Uh-oh, your lobby is way out of alignment.
- Esteban: [while carrying bags] So is my spine!
- Mr. Forgess: [to Zack, Cody and Bob] Well, I think you guys really got to understand the theme of the play.
- Zack Martin: Girls stink.
- Cody Martin: Never work with your brother.
- Bob: I should've gone with the oboe.
- Mr. Forgess: Close enough.