- T.J. White: Now, what good is it gonna do to interview Lex Luthor? I mean, his... his sickening arrogance is only exceeded by his lying skill.
- Clark Kent: That's true. But if we can get into his dorm room, it'll... it'll be...
- T.J. White: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is he gonna be dumb enough to keep hot Army equipment *in* his dorm room?
- Clark Kent: I'm not saying that. I'm saying we might be able to find a clue as to where he's hiding it. I just feel we're doing an injustice by suspecting the guy without any proof, that's all.
- T.J. White: Wait, wait, wait. There's nothing that can be done to Lex Luthor that could be considered an injustice.
- Lana Lang: Isn't it a bit warm to be wearing a hat?
- [Lex takes the hat off, revealing he's bald]
- Lana Lang: Uh, Lex, why did you shave your head?
- Lex Luthor: I'm not shaved. I'm bald.
- Lana Lang: Oh, Lex.
- Lex Luthor: Made bald by your friend, Superboy.
- Clark Kent: Why did he hit you?
- T.J. White: Well, see, she looks like his mother.
- Lana Lang: He totally freaked out. Suddenly, he's gone bald.
- T.J. White: Bald? As in "no hair" bald? How'd he go bald overnight?
- Lana Lang: I don't know. He blames Superboy for it. Some wild nonsense about him doing it to him deliberately.
- Clark Kent: I'm really confused here. I mean, just yesterday he was thanking Superboy for saving his life.
- Lana Lang: I know. Oh, he also has a message for Superboy.
- Clark Kent: Well, tell me what it is. I'll try to pass it on to him.
- Lana Lang: Hi. So, who's buying lunch today?
- T.J. White: Well, that depends. If you eat your usual quota, we're gonna run out of money.
- Lana Lang: There's a woman starving here, and you're making a joke?
- T.J. White: Well, give me a break. I'm just kind of warming up.
- Lex Luthor: Superboy!
- Superboy: Titanium and phosphorus? Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with highly unstable chemicals?
- Clark Kent: So, Lana, how did your, uh... your date go last night?
- Lana Lang: Lex hit me.
- Clark Kent: He did what?
- Lana Lang: He didn't hurt me. And I was so sure that he had... well, changed.
- T.J. White: Now I know why I'm a romantic washout. You have to belt a woman to turn her on.
- T.J. White: Where'd you disappear to? You were right behind me, weren't you?
- Clark Kent: You left me in the dust. You should go out for track. So, what happened?
- T.J. White: Well, Mr. Wonderful nearly blew himself up in the lab. And then, finally, Superboy did a disservice to humanity. He saved Lex Luthor.
- Lex Luthor: He deliberately blew those chemicals through my hair, killing the follicles.
- Lana Lang: You're not being reasonable, Lex.
- Lex Luthor: You're damn right I'm not being reasonable. Would you be reasonable if somebody deliberately stole your hair? On purpose? On purpose!
- Lana Lang: Well, why would he do that?
- Lex Luthor: 'Cause he hates me. You all hate me.
- Lana Lang: No, Lex. You're wrong!
- Lex Luthor: [he slaps her, and she punches him in return] Don't you *ever* tell me I'm wrong. Get it? You all hate me. You and your two obnoxious friends. You hate me because I'm smarter than you are. Now, about that favor I want. You tell Mr. "Save Humanity" Superboy that if he wants the Thermaton 14, to be at Wilson's Meadow tomorrow morning. Got it?
- [giving her a lock of hair]
- Lex Luthor: And give him this.
- [taking it back]
- Lex Luthor: Never mind, it's all I've got.
- Lana Lang: [taking a card from a bouquet of flowers] "To a very gracious woman from a very grateful man. Lex."
- T.J. White: I see it, I hear it, but I do not believe it.
- Lana Lang: Why are you guys such downers? Lex is trying so hard to be nice.
- T.J. White: You think he's trying hard?
- Clark Kent: I think he's convincing her he is.
- Lana Lang: And would you stop referring to me like I'm not here?
- T.J. White: What are you so angry about?
- Lana Lang: I'm not angry! I mean, can't you give anyone the benefit of the doubt?
- T.J. White: Lana, here, read my lips: we're talking about Lex Luthor.
- Clark Kent: Hello.
- Lana Lang: If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go put the flowers in some water.
- T.J. White: Okay. If you run short, there's a reservoir a couple miles down.
- Lex Luthor: Have you contacted our clients yet?
- Leo: Um, yeah, all three of the organizations. One's ready to deal right now, but the other two have to wait for some higher authority.
- Lex Luthor: Is that a fact? Well, I'm a patient man, right, Leo?
- Leo: That's right, Lex. No one could ever accuse you of impatience. So why don't we just deal with the one who's ready now?
- Lex Luthor: 'Cause, Leo. The fun of the game is not just the profit. It's the delight in watching them bid against each other. And the joy of observing their anxieties, their terror of failing to acquire what they've been ordered to acquire.
- [snickering]
- Lex Luthor: Electric, isn't it?
- Clark Kent: [after a top-secret military weapon is stolen] There's only one student I know who could possibly do something like this.
- T.J. White: Lex?
- Clark Kent: Luthor, man.
- T.J. White: Well, he doesn't even belong to ROTC.
- Clark Kent: Oh, you think a little detail like that's gonna get in his way? Come on.
- T.J. White: Yeah, guess not.