Superman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

Little Big Head Man (1998)

Gilbert Gottfried: Mr. Mxyzptlk

Quotes 

• Mr. Mxyzptlk : [as Bizarro randomly searches for Superman]  Uh, listen, Rock, I'm just spitballing here, but something inside me says... what about that place?

  Bizarro : [seeing the Daily Planet building]  Me try there.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Yeah, I figured. Oh, and, uh, one other thing.

  [Bizarro crashes through the entrance to an el tunnel] 

• Mr. Mxyzptlk : [charges against him are read, including breaking interdimensional law, malicious torturing a less-advanced species, and going back on his word]  Was that wrong?

• Mr. Mxyzptlk : This is so sad! I can't take it anymore!

  Bizarro : Who there? Where am voice from?

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : The greatest hero in the universe, reduced to saving rocks and playing house. If I'd stayed quiet one more second, I'd need a colossal barf bag.

  Bizarro : Ha! You funny little big-head man.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Mr. Mxyzptlk, at your service.

  Bizarro : Mr. Mzzy-Plzzy?

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Ah, don't bother. You'll give yourself a hernia.

• Mr. Mxyzptlk : [watching Superman and Bizarro fight]  This is great.

  [he conjures a bucket of popcorn] 

  Gsptlsnz : [appearing nearby]  Mxy.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Hiya, Gspie. You're just in time to see the fun. Popcorn?

  Gsptlsnz : Baby, you know you shouldn't be here. If the tribunal hears what you've done...

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Ah, why do those schmoes care? I ain't done nothing wrong.

  Gsptlsnz : Nothing wrong? Try lying, tampering with humans, breaking interdimensional law for the umpteen-millionth time.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Lighten up, sweets. I'm just having some laughs. Hey, ten bucks says Bizboy mops the floor with Superhead. You in?

  Gsptlsnz : The leaders aren't gonna like this.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Like they'll ever find out.

• Superman : All right, Bizarro. How did you get here and what do you want?

  Lois Lane : Oh, I don't think he's in a mood to talk.

  Bizarro : [crashing through a window with Superman]  Why you not laugh now?

  [getting thrown down to the ground, Superman crashes through the roof of a tunnel] 

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : [appearing in a car and honking the horn]  Out of my way, road hog!

  Superman : Mxyzptlk? I thought you promised to stay away from Earth forever.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : No, no, no. I only said I wouldn't come back and bother you. And I'm not. Old rock-head here is.

  Superman : And I can guess who got him riled up.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Well, I may have said a word or two in passing, but you really can't blame me for...

  [he screams and flees as Bizarro crashes through the ceiling; as Bizarro and Superman crash through a wall, he conjures a video camera and starts filming] 

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : I should be selling this to cable.

• Mr. Mxyzptlk : Kltpzyxm. Kltpzyxm!

  Superman : And you'd better split, too, if you know what's good for you.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Sorry, Super. The wet blankets that run my dimension said I gotta perform a good deed before they let me back.

  Superman : In other words, three months of community service.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : [with a nervous chuckle]  Yeah. So, uh, press your cape?

  Superman : Actually... I have something more constructive in mind.

  Bizarro : [back on his planet]  Hello, citizens. It good to be back. World am safe. Me see no trouble.

  [silence] 

  Bizarro : Me say, me see no trouble.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : [setting up a rock figure]  I heard you the first time! Okay, let her rip!

  [with a nonchalant whistle, Bizarro kicks a boulder down a hill] 

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Huh?

  [running out the boulder's way with a scream] 

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Watch it, you big jerk! Three months of this? I don't think so. I quit.

  [Krypto chases him up a tree] 

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Ahh! Nice doggy. Heel! Play dead! HELP!

  Superman : [watching on TV in the Fortress of Solitude]  Life am good.

• Mr. Mxyzptlk : Ha! Fine. So I don't have powers. So what? It'll be worth it to see Superdupe get his. I'm laughing at you, you hear? LAUGHING! Say, where is Blueboy, anyhoo?

• Mr. Mxyzptlk : You see, Rocky, I've had my eye on you for a while. And, brother, did you get a raw deal from that lunkhead Superman.

  Bizarro : But Superman am friend. He give me planet to protect.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : [imitating a buzzer]  EHHH! Wrongo. Superman played you for a chump, chum.

  [conjuring a real TV and remote control] 

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : The real reason he stuck you here was to get rid of you. He was jealous of your great powers, and couldn't stand the competition. See? Out of Earth, out of mind. Wanna see what your "pal" really thinks of you?

  [he turns on a cartoon featuring Flintstone-ish caricatures of Superman, Lois, Supergirl, Lex, and Jimmy Olsen] 

  Superman : [imitating Bizarro's broken manner of speaking]  Look at me. Me am Bizarro. Me great big dummy.

  [they all laugh] 

  Bizarro : [smashing the TV]  Them no laugh at *me*. Me make Superman pay!

  [flying into space and choking from the lack of oxygen] 

  Bizarro : No air.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Oy. Amateur.

  [snapping them to Earth] 

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Now, you were saying?

  Bizarro : [flying away]  Me make Superman pay.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : That's my boy!

• Mr. Mxyzptlk : I can't help if I keep goofing on that big lox Superman. It's what I do. I don't need punishment. I need understanding. You know how it is. Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly. I've gotta bug that jerk 'til I die! Or he does. Oh, yeah, Mr. Big Shot. Mr. Truth-Justice-and-the-American-Way. Ha! He's a bug, you hear me! A BUG!

• Mr. Mxyzptlk : I hope I ain't missed the massacre.

  [bumping into Bizarro] 

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Whoa, Rocky. Where you going? Supershlub's that way.

  Bizarro : [grabbing the front of his suit]  Why bad men shoot at me?

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Hey, easy on the material, Frankenstein.

  Bizarro : Send bad men away, little big-head. Send them away.

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : I'd love to help you, Rocky, but power-wise, my tank is dry.

  Bizarro : No!

  [shaking him] 

  Bizarro : Send them away. Do it!

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : [getting shaken again]  Kltpzyxm. Kltpzyxm!

  [remembering his powers don't work] 

  Mr. Mxyzptlk : Oh, mama, this was a bad idea.