Tales from the Crypt (TV Series)

Curiosity Killed (1992)

John Kassir: Crypt Keeper

Quotes 

• Crypt Keeper : That Cynthia's a real shrieking violet, wouldn't you say, kiddies? A regular afterlife of the party!

  [laughs maniacally] 

  Crypt Keeper : Didn't know I was a bore scout, did you? Well I am! My horrorticulture scareit badge requires me to plant croak-uses. Hmmm... A shame, really... I'd much rather plant... diebrids!

  [laughs maniacally] 

• Crypt Keeper : GERONIMO!

  [falls from the sky] 

  Crypt Keeper : So glad you could drop in, kill-seekers! Don't worry about me, it only *hearse* when I laugh!

  [laughs maniacally and then groans in pain] 

  Crypt Keeper : Boy, that was good! It's even better than hang-gliding!

  [laughs maniacally] 

  Crypt Keeper : Of course, some folks would rather keep their feet on terra firma, like the people in tonight's putrid piece. They're spending a nice, quiet weekend in the woods, going *hack* to nature!

  [laughs maniacally] 

  Crypt Keeper : I call this fetid fable... Curiosity Killed.