Tales from the Crypt (TV Series)

Yellow (1991)

John Kassir: Crypt Keeper

Quotes 

• Crypt Keeper : Firing squad! Present arms! Hello creeps. I was just about to fire off tonight's deadtime story. It's about a young soldier who doesn't want to be in the army anymore. I can't imagine why not! I mean war's a great opportunity destroyer.

  [chuckles] 

  Crypt Keeper : Now, where was I? Oh yes! Ready! Maim! And here's my favorite part. Fire!.

  [shoots a book off the shelf as it opens up on the table] 

  Crypt Keeper : I call tonight's tale "Yellow."

• Crypt Keeper : I guess Martin finally learned his lesson. No guts, no gory!

  [the Crypt Keeper laughs as it shows him tied up to a tree] 

  Crypt Keeper : Well, gut to go kiddies. It's time for my shots.

  [turns the guns onto himself] 

  Crypt Keeper : Fire!

  [the Crypt Keeper sets off the guns that shoot him as he chuckles upon not being harmed by the bullets] 

  Crypt Keeper : Yes, yes, oh yes. Boy I get a bang out of that.